Our Separate Ways
by dantsolo
Summary: Pre-ESB, Han and Chewie are stationed at a different base, away from Luke and Leia, much to everyone's dismay. The separation causes Han and Leia to question their feelings for each other and find reasons to see each other, resulting in a dangerous situation where Leia must fight for Han's life. First in a two-part series, this part remains in canon, but part two becomes an AU.
1. Chapter 1

Welcome! This is the first part of a two-part series. This first part remains in the canon galaxy and part two is very much an AU. In this part, the Rebellion splits it up into three separate bases, with Luke and Leia at one, and Han and Chewie at another. This results in an increase in tension between Han and Leia, as they are forced to acknowledge their feelings. Hope you like it :)

XXX

Our Separate Ways

By Dant Solo

There was so much to do and so little time in which to do it. The fleet was splitting up, breaking into separate cells assigned to one of three bases in different sectors. Together, the rebels were too vulnerable. If discovered by the Empire, they would all be wiped out. Since Yavin IV, there had been no permanent home for the growing members of the Alliance. Drifting through space, hiding from Imperials and bouncing through hyperspace from one end of the galaxy to another had been the norm.

But they needed a place to settle. They were wasting fuel they could barely afford.

Leia had somehow wound up in charge of overseeing the distribution of supplies between the bases. It would be a less difficult task if the rosters for each base didn't keep changing. Each time she had things in order, she received a new staffing list. Different numbers meant a change in the necessary supplies. And Leia had to go over the numbers again and make adjustments. It was frustrating as hell.

The console ahead of her sounded, alerting her to a new message. With a grim shift of her lips, she retrieved the message to find that it was yet another roster, this one for the Rattaran sector. Leia sighed and wondered if the list would continue to be updated even after the separation occurred. Perhaps at that point, it would no longer be her problem.

As she glanced down the list at the highlighted names, the Princess couldn't help but wonder what caused the highest-ranking Rebel leaders to reassign chosen members of each base. She would have to ask General Rieekan. Perhaps she could make him end this madness.

A name on the list for Rattaran caught her eye and gave her pause.

_Han Solo._

Leia frowned. Last time she had checked, Han had been assigned to the Wishnu base, with Luke and herself. This latest change left her feeling deeply unsettled.

Along with Luke, Chewie, and herself, the Corellian pilot had become something akin to a family, inseparable. They often traveled together on missions and spent a great deal of their limited free time together. Well, her free time was limited. Han mostly did whatever he wanted.

But, in spite of the fact that he often drove her mad, Leia had grown quite attached to Solo. She considered him a friend. One that she hadn't considered might be stationed far away from her. She was well aware that he hadn't become an official member of the Rebellion and that he might pick up and take off at any moment. Yet, she hadn't expected to be separated from him by the Rebel Alliance.

It was silly, but somehow Leia had just expected that the four of them would be assigned to the same base. And that had been the case. Why had it been changed?

Of course, Chewie went wherever Han did. And this left just Luke and Leia at Wishnu.

Something deeply unnerving took residence in her chest, a heavy weight of disappointment that she was abhor to acknowledge.

She would _miss _him. In all his brash, swaggering smugness, he had unwittingly become _important _to her. She didn't care for this realization; because his transient nature, his inability to commit to anything other than himself and his ship, had made it easy to maintain a more casual distance than she had with Luke. Luke was dedicated to the Rebellion, and in turn he was loyal to Leia. Solo had no such loyalty to anything but his co-pilot and his ship. But, something inside her had unintentionally let him in more than she had planned.

She supposed she was not giving Han enough credit. He did have some loyalty. After all, he had risked his own neck for Luke and herself multiple times, starting at the Death Star battle. Oh, he might deny it, might claim to have returned for the possible reward, for a chance to "screw the Empire," as he so eloquently put it. But Luke and Leia had discussed it many times at length and had repeatedly come to the same conclusion: Han couldn't stand the thought of them blown to smithereens by the Death Star. And that was why he had returned. And perhaps he had stayed on with the Alliance for the past year for the same reason: he cared about Luke and her. And just maybe, for the Rebellion's cause. But he would never admit any of that.

She glanced again at the updated list for Rattaran, her stomach sinking. Well, she would just have to push this news out of her thoughts and continue, as always. Yes, she would miss that rakish nerfherder, but she had survived much worse pain.

When Han's comm pinged, he retrieved it from his pocket and read the new message about his reassignment. His brow lowered as if by a sudden cave-in.

_Rattaran?! What the hell? _When had that happened?

Frowning, he moved to the computer console in the Falcon's main hold. He had limited clearance to access the Rebel Alliance's files, but personnel general information was one file he was privy to. Settling into the seat, he pulled up the file for Wishnu and scrolled through it. Commanding officers were the first to be listed and there it was, in plain Aurabesh: Leia Organa was still stationed at Wishnu. Scrolling further down the list, he found Luke's name as well. Han's had been just several names after the kid's, but it was now glaringly absent.

He sat back in his chair, staring at the name that should have been his. Han had no idea who Solomun, Jakum was, but he suddenly had an intense dislike for him.

This turn of events was unexpected and unwelcome. Solo turned it over in his mind, trying to sort out exactly why it left him so uneasy. For the past year, he had always been stationed in the same locations as Luke and Leia. Han had started to wonder if it was the Princess' doing. Coupled with the fact that he was almost exclusively assigned as her pilot on missions, he practically assumed that she was behind these decisions. But this latest circumstance…had the princess arranged it? Or was it a random roll of the dice?

The thought of the day-to-day activities involved in the Rebellion seemed hollow without Luke or Leia around. It hit him hard and fast that he might be lying to himself. He had spent almost three years loudly declaring that he was still there because the Rebels were a great place to hide from Jabba, the money was good, and the work was easy. And most of the time he had believed it, barring a few questionable moments with the princess.

Now he found that those reasons seemed much less appealing. How had he gotten this attached to the kid and the princess? It certainly hadn't been his intention. Although he liked them both practically from the start.

Well, maybe not immediately. At first, he had found the kid to be whiny and annoying, while Leia had been a royal pain-in-the-ass. But those first impressions hadn't lasted too long. The way Luke had offered his unconditional friendship to a cynical smuggler who had done nothing to deserve it had somehow endeared him to Han. It had baffled him to a degree, but he later realized that Luke saw more in him than Han was willing to admit was there. Even though he didn't like to think about it.

And Leia was quick to prove that she was far more than the bossy, stuck-up princess Han had first assumed she was. It had been fairly impossible not to like them both.

Just thinking about her now made his insides tight. He tried to unwind with a sigh but it didn't help.

Maybe this was a simple mistake. Maybe the princess could fix it.

Han shrugged out of his chair and headed out. "Chewie!" he called loudly, uncertain where his co-pilot was. He heard a faint, growling response. "I'll be back!" he bellowed as he headed down the ramp.

Han's casual stride through the main hangar belied the tension brimming inside. If there was one thing he had perfected at a young age, it was playing things cool.

Taking a glance into the Command Center, he saw that the princess wasn't there. The second most likely place she could be found was her office. He ambled through the corridors, affecting a bored expression. When he reached the door, he gave it three quick raps.

The door slid open and there was Leia, facing the computer console on her desk, looking tight-lipped and tense. She wore her most formal white uniform with her hair pulled back in an austere braid. Her tense expression relaxed slightly when recognition dawned.

"What can I do for you?" she asked, all business. There was no time for pleasantries.

He sauntered inside and dropped into the chair on the other side of her desk. "How's it goin', Princess?"

Leia frowned at him. He was always so flippant, as if he had all the time in the world even though he knew she did not. "What is it, Han? I'm kind of busy here."

He decided to cut to the chase, leaning forward, forearms on his knees. "How'd I end up on Rattaran?" Solo asked, point blank.

Leia allowed her features to soften. "Oh. Yes, I saw that."

"Did you change my assignment?" he accused in a harsh tone.

Stung, her features hardened again. "Now why would I do that?" she countered hotly.

Taken aback by her response, Han felt a bit foolish for his rash assumption. He took a moment to form a response. "You tell me." Most of the thrust had flushed from his boosters but he saw no way to save face other than to pursue his chosen line of questioning.

She regarded him with a tired sigh. Leave it to Solo to inflate his own importance. "Han, I have a lot of things on my plate right now. Your reassignment is not one of them."

How was the princess so able to make him feel like a loofnut? "So, why ain't I going to Wishnu now?"

"I don't know. You're not the only one who was reassigned. Something to do with evening out capabilities. I imagine they needed a good pilot at Rattaran." Truthfully, Leia had been disappointed to see that Han wouldn't be joining them at Wishnu. Had he not come in with blasters blazing with accusations, she might have told him so. As it stood, that information would now follow her to her grave.

"A good pilot?" he countered. "You mean the best pilot." He cocked his head back as he watched her lips firm to a thin line.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" she asked pointedly.

At the question, he sat up and leaned closer. "Since, you asked…" He gave a little shrug. "How 'bout you get me assigned back to Wishnu?" He flashed his most charming smile.

A tiny smile curved Leia's lips. "Han Solo," she breathed "Are you actually going to miss Luke and me?"

His frown only made her smile wider.

"Don't be ridiculous." Solo sniffed disdainfully.

"C'mon, Han. Just admit it."

It had been some time since he had last affected his mercenary tone with her. But it was easy to fall back into that familiar timbre. "Don't flatter yourself. It's just hangin' around with one of the commanding officers brings some privileges." He paused for effect. "And you're the only one that likes me."

His bluster didn't fool her for a nanosecond. "Who says I like you?" She arched a brow at him and tried to withhold a smile.

He smirked. "Of course, you like me. You're a woman."

_Here we go again, _thought Leia. She could never decide if he were genuinely this cocky or if it was all an act. "I'd forgotten how delusional you are about your charms," she replied dryly.

Did she know how much he enjoyed their banter? It never failed to light a spark in him. "Delusional?" Placing a hand on his chest, he affected a tone of offense, brow risen. "Aw, Sweetheart, you hurt my feelings."

He grinned and she couldn't help but grin back. Damn him, he was almost as charming as he thought he was. When he wasn't being an ass. "I think you'll recover," she dismissed with a serene smile.

A quick grin came and went then he was suddenly serious again. "So, how 'bout it?"

Leia sighed, glancing at her computer terminal. "How about what, Solo?"

"Gettin' me back on the list for Wishnu."

"I can't do that."

The lines of his forehead puckered. "Why not?"

"It would be an abuse of my position."

His mouth opened for several seconds before he responded. "Abuse of your position? What's the big deal? It's just one name on a list."

"Technically, it's two names. There's Chewbacca to consider as well." She was growing tired of this conversation. There was too much work to be done. "Now, if you'll excuse me." She threw a deliberate glance at the door.

His hackles were raised now. "I don't understand." He was supremely irritated. "Why can't you just do me this favor?"

The princess leaned forward on her desk and clasped her hands in front of her.

"Han, these decisions are made for a reason. I can't just go changing things to better suit myself. What kind of leader would that make me? I won't invoke special privileges for my friends."

"Some friend," he muttered under his breath.

Leia chose to ignore the comment. "I have a lot of work to do now, Han. I'm sorry I can't help you but it's out of my hands."

_Only 'cause you want it to be_, he thought with a sneer. He stood with hands on hips. "Thanks for nothin', Princess." With a scowl, he quickly palmed the door open and was gone.

Leia sputtered a breath of frustration. Han could be so maddening. Of course, she was disappointed that he was assigned to a different base. Upon receiving that information, her first impulse had been to step in and use her status to have it changed. But she was quick to see reason. Never in the past year had Leia used her position with the Alliance for personal gain or privilege. As a point of honor, she was not about to start now.

But she was going to miss that big, stupid nerfherder immensely.


	2. Chapter 2: Separation Anxiety

Thank you so much for reading and special thanks to those who took the time to review :) Hope you continue to enjoy it.

XXX

As Han stormed his way back to the Falcon, he rounded a corner and almost ran straight into Luke. Both men stopped abruptly.

"Whoa," Luke called with a quick smile. "Where you in such a hurry to go?"

"Apparently, Rattaran," Han groused.

"Huh?"

"Didn't ya hear?" Han sneered. "I've been reassigned there."

Luke's face fell. "You're going to Rattaran? That sucks!"

"Tell me about it."

With a frown, the younger man's eyes lowered, his brow furrowed. "Hmm..." He looked back to Han. "Maybe Leia can get it changed."

"I already asked Her Holiness. She can't be bothered."

Luke eyed his friend dubiously. "I know she didn't say _that_."

"Might as well have." Han placed his hands on his hips and puffed out his chest, a clearly defensive posture.

"Man, this'll be the first time we've been separated since we met."

"Yeah, well, it's not like I'm gonna miss you guys or anything." He gave a disdainful sniff. "Just not gonna have anyone to play sabaac with."

Luke smirked. "Yeah, I'm sure you won't." He grinned. "I'll miss you though."

Han huffed some hot air in return, suddenly uncomfortable. He crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm sure I'll see you around." In fact, he would make sure of it.

"Of course," Luke returned. "It's not like these assignments are forever."

"Forever," he muttered under his breath, eyes on the floor. "Nothing's forever." When he looked back at Luke, the kid's expression was grim and Han wasn't sure what to make of that.

"I bet Leia's disappointed."

Han's attention was immediately drawn back to Luke. "Didn't seem too broken up," he growled.

"You know Leia. Always business first."

Yeah, he knew. But somehow, he felt that if it had been Luke, she might have made an exception. The thought made his eye twitch.

With a clap on the shoulder, Han did an about-face. "See ya, Kid."

He ambled down the corridor, annoyed with the Rebellion, the princess, and most of all himself.

"C'mon, you have to come. It'll be fun. Plus, who knows when we'll see them again."

Leia moved quickly through the corridor, Luke walking hurriedly beside her. Han hadn't spoken to her since his attempt to sway her to change his assignment to Wishnu. The few times their paths had crossed he hadn't even looked in her direction. Well, two could play that game.

"Han won't want to see me," she insisted, never breaking stride. "He's still brooding because I didn't switch him back to Wishnu."

"Of course, he will. You know Han. He has a short fuse but an even shorter mempry." When she didn't respond, Luke grabbed her firmly by the arm, forcing her to stop.

Leia stared meaningfully at his hand on her arm and gave him a pointed look. He smiled disarmingly and let her go.

"Look, I'm late for a meeting."

"Okay, I know, but just come tonight. It might be the last time the four of us are all together for a long time." His eyes turned large and pleading.

Leia hated it when Luke appealed to her sentimentality. She sighed. "All right. I'll be there." Her lips pressed together in exasperation.

"Great! Better get to your meeting, don't be late!" In a flash, he was walking in the opposite direction.

Irked, Leia glared after him. He turned back for just a moment and flashed her a boyish grin. She smiled in spite of herself.

Leia had been a bit apprehensive about coming aboard the Falcon on Han's last night. Upon arrival, Han had greeted her with reserve. Although not typical of him, she was relieved. It was infinitely better than the alternative. If he were holding a grudge, at least he was not making her life unpleasant.

She slid into the acceleration couch, Luke planting himself at her side. Chewbacca was nowhere to be seen.

Still seemingly sedate, Han returned carrying a large, dark bottle and four metal cups. He placed it on the table and it appeared to Leia that he was deliberately avoiding her gaze. The Corellian took a seat on her other side, remaining as far away from her as possible.

Intent on the bottle as he attempted to yank out the cork, Han was overly aware of the princess' presence. This was nothing new to him, but tonight in particular it seemed heightened.

Staring through the bottle, Leia suddenly focused intently on the label facing her. Her eyes grew wide. "Toniray?" Her voice almost squeaked.

Han met her eyes for the first time since she had arrived and a spark lit in his stomach. "Yeah," he replied dully, looking away and pulling the bottle close to his chest while continuing to wrest with the cork.

Emotion swirled inside the princess. She averted her gaze, memories besieging her, bringing both joy and heartache. She pushed them aside. It was not the time for such.

"What's Toniray?" Luke asked from beside her.

"It's an Alderaanian wine," Leia answered quietly. It was the last thing she might have expected Solo to have in his possession.

"Where'd you get that?" Luke asked Han.

The cork flew from the bottle and Han's elbow banged against the back of the couch with a dull thud. For just a nanosecond, he appeared startled. His expression quickly settled into his usual cool demeanor. "Picked it up somewhere," he muttered. Leaning forward, he began to fill the cups.

_Picked it up somewhere…_

Leia was well aware that Toniray wine was difficult to come by. Han must have gone out of his way to procure this bottle, knowing what it would mean to her. The gesture both moved her and made her uncomfortable. She cleared her throat, finding her voice. "Where's Chewie?"

Instead of answering her, Solo bellowed loudly, "Chewie! Get in here!"

Luke reached for his cup but Han swatted his hand away as they heard an answering bark.

"He's comin'." Han nodded towards the corridor.

Heavy feet shaking the deck ever-so-slightly, the Wookiee lumbered into the lounge, hooting a greeting.

"Hey, Chewie," Luke called.

"Chewie," Leia smiled. "We couldn't do this without you." She gestured towards the extra cup.

With a soft growl, Chewbacca indicated for Han to scoot over, forcing him closer to Leia. Their thighs touched lightly and she felt suddenly warm all over.

Chewie examined the bottle and grumbled to Han that he remembered when Solo had bought the wine for the little princess.

She couldn't help but smile at Han's sudden discomfort. He squirmed beside her and said nothing.

The Wookiee's large, blue eyes found Leia. Casually, he told her that Han had spent months searching for the wine before finally finding it.

Before she could respond, Han held his cup up in the air. "Who wants to do the toast?" His neck was warm.

They all raised their cups to join him and Leia felt a keen sense of intimacy. "To four friends," she said, voice husky with emotion. "And _not_ saying good bye."

"Here here!" Luke called. She could hear the smile in his voice.

Chewie gave a celebratory hoot and Han said nothing. He didn't know what to say. Instead, he took a quick gulp of wine and everyone followed suit. He was aware of emotions reverberating through him. It felt distantly familiar but he couldn't quite grasp the memory of when he had experienced these feelings in the past. Nor did he really want to.

A brief moment of silence was broken by Luke. "Who would've thought a year ago that we'd all be sitting here right now?"

Han snorted at the rhetorical question. "Not me, that's for sure." The heat of Leia's thigh against his made it difficult to concentrate. He was well aware of how rarely she initiated any physical contact with him. It was quite the contrast to her comfort level with Luke, with whom she shared an easy, affectionate relationship.

"That doesn't surprise me," she intoned at his side. He made a sour face without looking at her. "But, somehow," Leia continued in a softer tone. "In the moments after you came back from the Death Star, I would have believed it."

"Me too," Luke agreed with a grin.

Chewbacca barked agreement and Han took another sip of wine.

"Of course," a hint of teasing entered the princess' voice and Han knew she was talking to him without any other indication. "This one here…" She paused to bump her shoulder against his arm, a gesture of warmth that took him by surprise. "Didn't take long for him to talk about picking up and taking off."

Now, he turned his head to gaze down at her through lowered lashes, uncertain how to respond. Her beautiful face was so close to his, it was difficult to look at her. One side of her mouth was lifted in a smirk. He decided on an earnest response. "But I'm still here." He gazed at her levelly, unmoving.

She held his stare, as she always held her own with him. She couldn't help but be drawn into that fascinating color combination that melted his eyes to hazel. Up close, they were beautiful and unnerving and she was drowning in green and brown. Leia struggled for words. "That you are." She managed to keep her response sounding steadier than she felt then quickly turned away and sipped her wine.

"Seeing your holo changed everything." Luke's voice was filled with wonder.

"It's a good thing that Artoo has such initiative," Leia commented.

"Oh, c'mon," Han interjected. "Droids don't have initiative."

The princess was looking at him again. "After everything we've been through with Artoo and Threepio, you still don't see that there's more to them than just mechanics?"

"Don't get me started on the Golden Wonder," Han grumbled. "And let's not go gettin' all sentimental. No one's dyin'."

"Well, I think it's a big deal," Luke insisted. "We've all been together for over two years."

"Almost three," Leia chimed in.

"Not really, when you stop an' think about it." Han felt everyone's eyes on him, most notably the princess'. "I mean, we've been on different trips and missions all the time. It's not like we've all been playing in the same sandbox for a year."

Chewie's yowl was argumentative and Han shot him a dirty look.

"Yes," Leia said quietly, gaze on the tabletop. "But we've always come back together again."

At his other side, the Wookiee warbled agreement. Luke was nodding then grinned suddenly.

"Han just doesn't want to admit he's gonna miss us."

Han's eyes rounded the table with a goofy twist. "Delusions of grandeur," he muttered, taking a big sip of his wine. "Besides…" That crooked grin sprung across his face and he cast a sly glance at Leia. "I'm just worried that the princess here's not gonna have an expert pilot to shuffle her around anymore."

Internally, Leia rolled her eyes. Externally, she didn't bat an eye. She turned to Luke and Chewie. "Do you know why Han's being sent to Rattaran?" She paused for effect. "Wishnu is too small to fit his ego."

Chewbacca arfed loudly and Luke chuckled beside her.

"Laugh it up, Princess." Han leaned back, his right arm winding carefully behind her to rest across the back of the couch. For just a moment, he felt the barest of stiffening beside him. Leia seemed to relax again when his arm was safely away from her. A flutter of irritation brimmed to the surface but he quickly pushed it aside. "C'mon, admit it." He inclined his head towards her without looking in her direction. "There's no better ship to fly you around than the Falcon. And there's no better pilot than me."

Leia looked at the smug set of Han's mouth and felt the sarcastic retort at her lips. Biting it back, she decided to keep the peace. "It is a fast ship," she allowed. "And you have come in handy from time to time."

From the corner of her eye, she saw his brow raise in surprise. With a sip of wine, Leia glanced at Luke and saw he was trying to suppress a smile. She forced down the corners of her mouth. In the silence, she turned to look directly at Han and aimed one brow at him. "What's wrong, Flyboy? Don't know how to take a compliment?"

Han searched for the perfect response and came up empty. Chewie began to laugh uncontrollably, forcing out his thoughts between barks.

_'__Someone has finally stopped his smart mouth.'_

Everyone laughed together and after a few moments, even Han saw the humor in it. With a sheepish smile, he nodded to the princess. "Okay, okay."

As the laughter died down, Chewbacca congratulated the young princess.

"I'm gonna grab more wine." Chewie slid aside to allow Han to leave. In the galley, he reached down into a cabinet and snatched another bottle. This one Corellian and much less expensive.

He swaggered back to the lounge, attempting to gather his senses. This evening wasn't quite what he had expected.

His co-pilot shoved his massive body to one side so that Han could again insert himself beside Leia. It made Han feel somewhat transparent, yet at the same time, he was pleased.

This bottle was much easier to open. Han broke the seal and poured a round.

"Thank you," Leia said demurely.

"Thanks, Han," Luke added.

Han just gave a slight nod. They sipped in silence as Chewie growled something softly and disappeared from the lounge. They all watched him leave before turning back to each other.

Luke cleared his throat. "When I was a kid," he began quietly. "I spent all my time on the farm."

"Playing with sand?" Han quipped with a crooked grin.

The kid smiled patiently at Han. "Pretty much." The smile dimmed and Luke was once again serious. "I had some toys, not much but it was what I had. And I followed Uncle Owen around, learning about the vaporators, or I played on the kitchen floor while Aunt Beru cooked the midday meal."

Han glanced at Leia and saw she was listening intently to Luke. He wasn't thrilled with the serious atmosphere but no one was letting him lighten it.

"It was pretty lonely," Luke continued. "For the longest time, when I was really little, I had never even seen another kid." His eyes focused first on Leia, then Han but were quickly drawn to Chewie, who was returning with a giant bowl.

"Shoulda known you went lookin' for food," Han said, sliding closer to Leia again.

With a toothy grin, Chewbacca placed the bowl in the center of the table. It was filled to the top with pooka chips.

"Go on, Luke," Leia prompted, her hand quickly patting his.

Han's eyes followed the movement and he reached for a chip. It bothered him that he was always aware of every time Leia touched Luke.

"I must've been about five when Uncle Owen first took me to Anchorhead. That's when I met Biggs." He smiled to himself.

Han sighed internally. This was getting a bit too nostalgic for him.

"I couldn't take my eyes off Biggs; I was so fascinated. I mean, I knew there were other kids on Tatooine, but I was finally seeing one." He paused with a smile. "After that, I wanted to go to Anchorhead every time my uncle went, I'd beg him to take me. But I only saw Biggs a few times after that. Then, when I finally started school, we had instruction together." He looked up at his friends. "It was a small school," Luke explained. "There weren't levels, like other schools. We went to the school academy twice a week and did the rest on our own at home. All ages were in the same class. But we were grouped by age."

Chewie grunted a question.

"About twelve," Luke told him. "Only three in my group. Me, Biggs, and Windy."

"You must have loved those two days," Leia observed, smiling gently at Luke.

"Oh yeah, I sure did. And I asked my uncle all the time if I could go to Biggs' home after school, or if Biggs could come with us." He was silent for a moment, lost in memories, then seemed to come back to himself. "Anyway, life on Tatooine was pretty lonely." He glanced at each of his friends in turn. "I think since I've been here, since I've met you guys, it's the first time in my life that I don't feel lonely."

Luke's speech touched Leia, reminding her of how much these three beings surrounding the table meant to her. She placed a hand on his arm and smiled at him with genuine affection. Luke was so easy to love.

"I was a bit of a lonely child at times," she admitted.

From beside her came Han's irreverent voice. "Oh, come on. I'm sure there were lots of servants to keep you company. And help you count all your jewels and gold and whatever else you royals do."

Talking about her life on Alderaan was never easy. And Han certainly wasn't helping. But Leia wasn't about to let him ruin the evening. "Why yes," she responded in her most lofty tone. "That's exactly what I did. I sat on my golden throne, counting precious gems and being fed lupias by the servants."

Han grinned at her and chuckled, amused by her sharp wit. "Did the servants peel the lupias first?"

"Of course. And cut each lupia into three pieces."

Chewbacca huffed soft laughter from Han's other side and Luke was grinning at the table top, arms crossed over his chest.

The princess' sharp gaze never left Han. "As I was saying…" She aimed one questioning brow at him.

Han gestured to her to continue, a wide smile still tugging his mouth. She turned back to face the table.

"I had tutors at home. I rarely saw other children when I was young."

"I guess we have that in common," Luke said with a wistful smile.

Chewie barked beside him, speaking at length

Leia's eyes sparked. "You're talking about when you were a cub?" she asked, brimming with excitement.

Chewbacca growled in affirmation, nodding with a smile. He elaborated with a string of growls and hoots.

"The only words I understood was cubs…and group," Luke declared doubtfully.

They all looked to Han, who's expression was somber. "He said Wookiees don't have school. Groups of cubs are taught by the elders."

Chewbacca added a few barks and growls.

Han nodded. "It wasn't formal teaching. And that's how they learned everything they needed to know."

"Academics?" Leia asked.

Chewie replied briefly.

"And hunting, fighting, building. Everything," Han translated.

There was a moment of silence. "It's interesting how different things are on every planet," Leia observed.

"What about you, Han?" Luke asked suddenly. "What was school like on Corellia?"

Leia's curiosity was piqued. She looked at Han on her left. He was staring at the cup in front of him, expressionless.

"Nothin' special," he muttered to the cup.

When she glanced at Luke, he was watching the smuggler carefully. Han's vague response was no surprise to anyone.

"On a highly developed planet like Corellia I'm sure you had regular classes and school days," she speculated.

Han took a gulp of his drink, stalling for time. The princess and her private tutors…he was not about to admit that he only attended school here and there before dropping out altogether. He glanced at her then Luke as he replaced his cup on the table. "Yeah, that's how it worked."

"I can just imagine Han in school." Luke was grinning. "I bet you were a trouble maker."

"Yeah, and I bet you were the teacher's pet." Han smirked before turning slightly and looking down his nose at the princess. "And you…" He sipped his drink again, eyes never leaving hers. "You would've been a total know-it-all if you were in an actual school with normal people."

_Normal people? _She rolled her eyes, but in truth the dig stung. She zeroed in on a weak spot. "And what about your time at the academy? What was that like?"

His expression betrayed nothing but she knew instinctively that he was unhappy.

"The academy was just a lot of pointless banthashit that has nothing to do with flying."

"I heard it's pretty hard though," Luke commented. "The classes, I mean."

The corners of Leia's lips quirked upwards. "You must be smarter than you look," she teased gently.

Han was a bit taken aback at the entire conversation and it took him just a beat longer than usual to come up with a witty retort. "I'm as smart as I am handsome." He winked at her.

Chewie arfed with laughter, Luke shook his head, and Leia rolled her eyes.

"Well, then," the princess said dryly. "It's amazing you can walk and talk at the same time."

Chewbacca laughed harder and Han tried to scowl at her but somehow found himself smiling.


	3. Chapter 3: And Then There Were Two

Happy Valentine's Day! What would Love Day be without some Han and Leia?

XXX

The night had wound down. Empty cups littered the table, along with a few bottles. Chewie had retired to his cabin and Han and Luke sat in silence. Leia had dozed off against Han's shoulder. He was highly aware of her warmth.

"I better get going," Luke told him. He stood and moved towards Leia.

Han stayed him with a raised hand. "Nah, leave her. She doesn't sleep enough."

Luke straightened with a nod and wound his way around the table to stand next to Han. He placed a heavy hand on the older man's shoulder. "Take care of yourself, Han." He kept his voice quiet so as not to wake Leia.

"You too, Kid." He gazed up at Luke with eyes that were more serious than Luke had ever seen them.

"See you soon." With a firm squeeze to Han's shoulder, Luke smiled gently and turned to go.

The smuggler watched Luke's back until he was gone. He sighed lightly and turned his attention to the princess.

It was so rare the he could watch her unobserved. Even more rare was it that Leia was so intimately close to him. Gazing down at her at an awkward angle, Han couldn't help but think that she looked beautiful in sleep, at peace. She never let her guard down fully, at least not in front of him.

The contrast of dark hair against light skin held his gaze before his eyes slowly swept over her closed lids, long lashes curling softly. He lingered on her lips, captivated by their proximity. Against his will, he had often wondered what it would feel like to kiss those lips, to silence her mid-sentence during one of her little rants about his mercenary ways. To melt that cool, controlled exterior with a fire of his own.

The desire had been there but he had never seriously considered acting on it. Now, with Leia so close and warm at his side, that longing was intense and biting. It seemed to tease his senses. And while he couldn't deny that he spent more than a few nights fantasizing about the princess in his bed, he was suddenly aware that there was more to it than that.

The twinge in his chest confused him. He was not used to soft feelings. But he couldn't deny that there was something stirring inside him, fallen leaves circling in a brisk breeze.

It hit him how much he was going to miss her. He'd downplayed it, putting off the actual idea of this separation until it became a reality. He was good at that, shoving things aside and not dealing with them. And he'd put her in a box with Luke; Luke and Leia would not be around anymore. Now, he found that she took up her own, larger space inside him.

The thought of Luke not being around bothered him a bit. The thought of the princess being indefinitely out of reach troubled him much more deeply than he cared to admit. He could not recall any other time when someone's absence truly troubled him.

But Han had never known anyone like Leia. Or Luke, for that matter. Most of the beings he associated with did not have that caliber of character. They weren't beings that would be missed. By anyone.

Somehow, his galaxy seemed a bit dimmer without Leia. And the feeling of her soft body against him was making him realize it even more.

She shifted slightly on his shoulder and breathed lightly through her nose. Han froze, not wanting her to wake up and break the spell of the moment. This could possibly be their last time spent together. You never knew what life would throw at you and waylay your plans. There was a peaceful emotion floating through him, something that felt oddly grounding and right.

He had been thinking a lot lately about his debt to Jabba the Hutt. Being stationed at Rattaran, away from both Leia and Luke, he realized his excuses for staying with the Alliance were flimsy. Yeah, it was a good hiding place from Jabba's thugs. And the pay was good enough. But, in light of the current situation, sticking around didn't seem quite so appealing. And it irked him to fully realize that he had been lying to everyone, including himself.

Somewhere deep down, where he could easily ignore it, Han had known that his main motivation for hanging out with the rebels was to remain with Leia and Luke. But he never allowed himself to acknowledge if before. It was a disturbing realization.

Beside him, Leia's head burrowed closer, a few tiny, stray hairs tickling his neck. A soft whimper escaped her closed lips and it sent a thrill shooting through him. Remaining still, he hoped she would continue to sleep. But she began to stir, taking in a loud breath through her nose. Han watched as her eyes slowly fluttered open.

Leia's expression was peaceful for a long moment. Her head turned slowly until she was gazing up at Han. His heart sped up, pounding now, and a warm, hazy flush rushed through him. He realized how close together their lips were. If he just leaned down a bit…

In a flash, her eyes went wide and she was moving away from him, one hand flying to her hair, patting it as if the source of her discomfort was a disheveled appearance.

Swift disappointment claimed Han. The moment was broken and, he imagined, lost forever.

"I'm sorry," she muttered to the table, now smoothing the olive jacket of her uniform.

With an internal sigh, Han looked away from her. "No big deal." His voice sounded loud in the total silence.

"I didn't mean to…you should've woken me up." Her tone was stilted.

"I wasn't gonna do that. You hardly sleep as it is."

Leia was looking around, noticing they were alone. She wondered when Luke and Chewie had left and how long she had been sleeping on Han's shoulder. Her cheeks were warm and she was hesitant to examine why. The haze of sleep still claimed her, leaving her feeling confused and out-of-sorts. She realized she was still sitting extremely close to Han and scooted away in a quick motion.

"It's late, I should go." Leia started to move away, hell-bent on fleeing, but he placed one hand over hers on the table. It was warmer than she expected and his touch seemed to envelope her.

"Stay. It's not that late. And you already slept."

She looked up at him and his smile was unusually gentle. Her heart was pounding in her ears, louder even than her own breathing sounded to her. "Okay," she said slowly then swallowed back a nervous sigh.

Han smiled, clearly pleased and patted her hand before removing it. "Be right back." He stood and swaggered from the lounge.

Leia watched him go, trying to ignore the source of her tangled nerves. She had woken against Han's shoulder, a bit dazed and uncertain where she was. When she had looked up at Han, his face was so intimately close to hers, lips a scant few inches away. She could feel his breath and it was tantalizing, thrilling, and so, so unnerving. She realized her hands were shaking and clasped them together.

When Han breezed back into the room, he was carrying two bottles of ale.

"One last drink," he called as he returned to the table and sat beside her, not quite as close as before.

Leia accepted the ale, which was already opened, as was his.

"We're outta wine," he explained. "Damned furball always guzzles it."

Leia nodded as Han lifted his bottle in the air.

"One last toast." He had no idea what he was going to toast to but the inspiration had struck him out of nowhere. He wracked his brain. "To princesses," he finally settled on, grinning in his lopsided manner.

Leia smiled in return. Of course, rather than toast to her directly Han would make it plural. _Never saying what he means._

She raised her glass in return, pleased that her hand was now steady. "And to captains," she declared, her grin deliberately matching his.

Now his smile was full and actually reached his eyes. Mouth still curved, he took a swig of ale. Leia's sip was more reserved and when they lowered their bottles, they were both still smiling at each other.

Leia was relieved that his anger of several days ago had dissipated. She didn't like when they fought. She preferred his light teasing to his snide comments. He could be so damned charming. Of course, in the next moment, he might make some obnoxious comment and ruin it. _So unpredictable!_

But, for now, Leia decided to enjoy his softer side. "I hate to admit it," she said with a smirk. "But I am going to miss you." She tried to keep it light although it was a huge confession for her.

For a whisper of a breath, she saw surprise in his features. It quickly turned to a smug grin. _Always hiding,_ she thought.

"Well, who could blame you?" He sat back, playing it cool, ignoring the flush of pleasure that rushed through him. "Now you're stuck with all these boring Alliance types. I know how to show you a good time." He winked with a wide grin, allowing her to interpret his comment however she pleased.

She decided not to let him ruin the evening when he would soon be gone. "If your definition of a good time includes long periods of time waiting for you to finish repairs on this ship of yours," she retorted with lofty eyebrows.

He only beamed more brightly, a spark in his eye. "Hey, I can make anything fun." He wiggled his eyebrows at her, a hint of a suggestion.

Leia rolled her eyes. Han clearly knew he was pleasant to look at. _Okay, he's incredibly handsome, _she allowed. She would never let him know she thought so. She was also well aware of his reputation as a ladies' man. Most female humans they came in contact with eyed him as if he were a prime cut of meat. And a few non-humans too. And although she had never actually seen him in any romantic situations with a woman, she heard the rumors. And, as appealing as he might be, Leia would never allow herself to be another scratch mark on his wall. She knew that no such marked wall existed, but the rumor persisted. She had been in his cabin and had examined it closely for any such content.

But, in his softer moments, his combination of charm and good looks left a lingering impression in her thoughts; a stirring of some possibility she knew would never happen.

"But, hey," Han said in an uncharacteristically soft tone. "We'll see each other again." This time, his wink held promise without the hint anything evocative.

Leia certainly hoped so. "You're so sure?" she asked easily.

He shrugged. "Yeah. Why not?"

Leia could think of a dozen reasons. Mollified, she replied softly, "Okay. Then we will." She sipped her ale and averted her gaze. The air felt heavier than it normally did between Han and her.

An odd seriousness was brewing inside of Han. There was a thick, electric current of intensity flowing between Leia and himself. He knew she would never acknowledge it, and neither would he, not out loud. Silently, he couldn't deny it. Normally, a moment like this would lead to Han screwing it up with some asinine comment. It was his way of running away from his feelings, pushing the princess away. In the moment, he wasn't even aware he was doing it.

But right now, the urge to make a comment that would destroy the peaceful moment was held tight behind closed lips. He was well aware of the damage he would cause if he let it loose. And after tonight, it would be a long time before he would see her again.

They lapsed into an awkward silence. Leia busied herself with examining the label of the ale bottle.

Han searched for something to say. "You excited about the new base?"

She gazed at the ceiling, thinking. "Yes and no."

"Okay. Why yes?"

"Well," Leia began slowly, gathering her words. "I'm tired of being cooped up on this ship. It will be nice to be dirtside."

"To be cooped up in a base?" he asked with a crooked grin.

She smiled at him and something in his stomach gave a brief quiver.

"At least I'll be looking at a new set of walls," she drawled.

Han smiled in return.

"It will also be nice to be grounded, for the Alliance to have a set location," she added.

Han nodded. "And why no?"

Leia's head tilted slightly to the side. The first reason that came to mind was that Han wouldn't be there. But she couldn't phrase it that way. "For one, we're being broken up."

"We?" Han asked, ignoring the burst of pleasure her words caused.

"Yes. The four of us." Her neck felt warm.

"It was bound to happen sooner or later," he replied in an offhand manner, eyes roaming the lounge.

Leia felt a bit stung. For someone who had come to her asking for a staffing change, he seemed quite unaffected now. She sat up straighter and crossed her arms over her chest. "And it will be a lot of work, setting up the base." She turned her focus away from Han. "As much as we need to do it, it's still time and resources taking away from defeating the Empire."

He sensed the change in her mood and wondered what had caused it. Normally, he was well aware of what he'd done to piss her off. This time he had no clue. "Well, like you said…" He paused to place one arm behind her, along the back of the acceleration couch and watched her watching his arm. "It's gotta be done. Can't drift through space forever. The fuel's gotta be costing the Rebellion a crazy credit."

Leia nodded, not entirely sure why they were having this conversation. Han had never shown interest in the doings of the Rebellion beyond what concerned him. She was very conscious of his arm slung over the couch behind her head. It seemed close enough to imminently curve around her shoulder. The thought made her stomach flutter.

"What'll they have you doing over there? Construction?" He smiled at his own joke, picturing the princess with a macrolift, raising walls. When she returned his smile with good nature, something inside him softened. The urge to kiss her was startlingly strong. He took a breath and attempted to hide his reaction. It wasn't as if he had never thought about it before. The desire had been building since the medal ceremony on Yavin IV. But, somehow, tonight it felt different. Rather than an unattainable fantasy, it seemed suddenly within his reach. For the first time, he thought that if he did kiss her, she might not slap him.

"Actually," she replied smartly, "I'll be digging the tunnels."

Han laughed out loud. He loved her sense of humor when things were relaxed and easy between them. "I'd like to see the princess digging tunnels. That'd be a sight." He laughed again, picturing this small, determined woman skulking underground, blasting through rock and dirt.

Her smile turned thoughtful. "Han, if you weren't a smuggler, what do you think you would be doing?" There was always this urge to know more about him. She supposed it was due to his secretive nature.

His brow shot up in surprise. "Maybe digging tunnels," he answered with a smirk.

_Gods forbid he actually answer a personal question. _"Seriously," she insisted.

His lower lip jutted out as he thought about it. "I dunno, maybe a racing pilot."

Leia grinned. "I can definitely see that. Have you raced before?"

"Of course."

"Did you win?"

"Of course, I won," Han replied, as if it were a stupid question.

Her head tilted to one side as she contemplated this new information. "Why did you stop?" His hand was suddenly on her shoulder and he leaned a bit closer, as if he were about to confess something important. Her heart began to pound, hard as a Wookiee's footsteps.

"I never did it seriously. It was a bet and I needed the money."

She could feel heat flush over her entire body. What was wrong with her? Had she drunk too much? Trying to keep her breathing even, she tried to regain her composure but it was difficult to think. "Why not?"

Han wasn't even slightly interested in the conversation. Somehow, he had found himself placing his arm around her and moving closer. What was he doing? And why did it feel so natural? "I dunno." He heard a huskiness in his own voice that hadn't been there a few moments ago.

Leia's gaze dropped to her lap and she leaned ever-so-slightly away from him. It was enough to bring Han to his senses. He removed his arm from around her, feeling suddenly foolish.

"I should go," she declared. She rose in haste and Han followed suit.

He thought to walk her to her quarters but decided he should cut his losses for the night. Instead, he ambled behind her until they reached the hatch. Before he could reach the controls to lower it, Leia turned to him with a subdued smile.

"Good luck, Captain." Her voice was solemn.

"You too, Princess." Why did he feel like there was a hole in his chest?

They shared an awkward smile and Han wasn't sure how they should leave off.

Leia thrust aside any uncertainty and swiftly closed the distance between them, winding her arms around his waist and holding him for a long moment. It had been some time since she had last embraced him. She didn't recall ever feeling so warm and secure in his arms.

It took a moment for Han to react. When he did, he clutched her tightly and fought the urge to place a kiss on the top of her head. In a breath, he thought, _What the hell? _and did it anyway. Her hair was silky against his lips and smelled like flowers and fresh air.

His arms felt too good and the touch of his mouth in her hair was shockingly pleasant. They lingered together far longer than was proper. Leia realized it had gone on too long and was the first to disengage from the embrace.

Han realized she was letting go and forced himself to do the same. They exchanged a mild smile before Leia hit the controls and the boarding ramp began to lower. Without a backwards glance, she glided down the ramp and was gone.

Han remained in place, hands on hips. His thoughts and feelings were in turmoil. He couldn't begin to sort them out; he rarely did, especially when feeling so conflicted. Usually, he just followed his instincts, which he rarely questioned until after they had failed him.

_Like on the Death Star._ When Luke had told him about the princess being held captive, his instinct had been to do nothing. He didn't know her and had no stake in her rescue. But then, Luke found his weakness.

_Money._

His mercenary ways were lacking these days.

_I knew there was more to you than money._

Ironic. There really hadn't been. But, somehow, now there was.

Cut off in the detention center, with this tiny princess with the smart mouth, he had regretted not following his instincts. He was angry with himself for getting into trouble he could have avoided.

Yet, his instincts towards Leia were protective from the start. He had tried as hard as he could to prop her up on the highest pile of garbage, as if that would really save her from being crushed along with the rest of them. Because she was a woman? Or because she was so much smaller than him? Han didn't know why he had felt compelled to try and save her from the start.

Then, in the corridor, when they stumbled upon the squad of troopers, his instinct had yet again been to protect the princess. He had run off like a madman after them. Not his smartest move, but hey, it had worked.

Han began to trudge back to his cabin, thoughts still with Leia. He knew she would denounce any need for protection. And dammit all if she wasn't right. She had saved his sorry ass as many times as he had saved hers. But that didn't change the fact that he felt this possessive need to watch out for her, keep her safe. He was sure she knew it, too.

Maybe that was why he felt so uneasy being away from her. He wouldn't be there to keep her safe.

Who was he kidding? Maybe that was one element of it but certainly far from all of it.

Inside his cabin, he lifted the shirt over his head and tossed it aside. He sighed in frustration before removing his pants and flopping onto his bunk. Settling in with his hands behind his head, he dreaded leaving in the morning. It took him a long time to fall asleep and he did not sleep soundly.


	4. Chapter 4: So Hard to Watch You Go

Thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing! Guest reviewers, please know that I appreciate you!

XXXX

Leia slept fitfully, tossing and turning against obsessive thoughts of Han. It was incredibly early when she finally gave up on sleep altogether. Feeling sluggish and dispirited, she dressed in her uniform and headed to the mess hall for some kaffe to shake away the dreary feelings.

There were only two other beings in the mess hall. Leia crossed the large room and helped herself to a large cup of kaffe. Kaffe and water were the only items available both day and night. She added cream and sweetener and carried it carefully to the table farthest from the others. When the first sip rolled past her tongue she sighed with appreciation.

Was Han up this early, prepping for his departure? Chewie probably was. It hit Leia then that she hadn't said good bye to him. He had gone to bed while she had been asleep on Han's shoulder.

She frowned, knowing she couldn't possibly allow Chewie to leave without saying good bye. She hoped to see them both again, but what if circumstances didn't allow it? After all, according to Han, his departure from the Alliance was indefinitely imminent. Her eyes rolled to the heavens at the thought of his constant allusions to leaving them behind to pay his debt. He had spent the past year declaring that he couldn't hang around forever; he had to leave soon.

Leia decided to finish her kaffe then grab two more and head to the Falcon to see Chewbacca. And it wouldn't hurt to see Han one last time.

XXXXXX

Han was checking his handiwork on a valve on the underside of his ship, preparing for their departure while Chewie ran a diagnostic from the engineering station. They were almost ready for liftoff. He placed his hands on his hips and took a long look around the hangar. It felt as if something were coming to an end. It seemed foolish to feel that way, but he did.

Saying good bye to Leia had left him unsettled. Han had never wanted to _need _anyone. On the streets of Corellia, he had learned at a young age that you couldn't trust anyone. So, he made it his life's mission to never need anyone and only take care of himself. It had worked really well for him for a long time. Even in the academy, he had 'friends,' a term which he used loosely. But he held them at a distance and never considered trusting them, even though they were his comrades.

Then came the court martial. And a persistent Wookiee who eventually proved to Han that there was one being he truly could trust. Of course, Han had stubbornly resisted. But time after time, the big lug proved that he would follow Han to the ends of the galaxy and pull him back from the edge of death no matter what. And Han had been forced to relent.

Working on the fringe and spending his time with other smugglers, gamblers, and thieves had shown him the grossest armpit of the galaxy. It hadn't inspired much faith in other beings. And often, they had dragged him down with them.

Somehow, Leia and Luke had fallen across his path and things weren't quite the way they were before. Against his will, he'd had to stubbornly admit that he could trust them too. Both had his back without hesitation. Han had never known anyone so virtuous. At times, they made him feel like he was a terrible person who couldn't possibly be worthy of their friendship. At others, they made him want to be better.

It hit him hard to realize that he had grown to need them. It had certainly been against his will. And that was why leaving was affecting him so.

"Hey," a soft, familiar voice came from behind him.

He spun to face the source, mood quickly elevating. His brow rose in surprise. "Hey."

Leia hesitated a moment, a cup in each hand. She held one out to him. "I brought kaffe."

"Oh. Thanks." He took the cup from her outstretched hand. One side of his mouth crooked upwards. "Going away present?" He took a soothing sip of the hot beverage.

Leia grinned back. "Something like that."

"Didn't expect to see you today."

Her eyes flitted to the deck then bounced back to his. "I realized I never said good bye to Chewie."

There was a tiny spike of disappointment in his stomach. "Oh." He felt his smile deflate. He took another drink of his kaffe and affected a mask of indifference. "He's inside, running a diagnostic." He chucked a thumb over his shoulder.

"Great," she nodded. "I brought one for him too."

"Go on up." He turned back to the valve and made a show of examining it. Her soft footsteps sounded lightly on the ramp as she ascended.

Leia felt sad as she made her way into the Falcon. It might be for the last time.

She wandered through the lounge, noted the computer terminal running the diagnostic, but did not find the Wookiee. He wasn't in the cockpit when she looked there. Nor was he in the engine room. As she headed back to the lounge to wait, she heard heavy footsteps and smiled to herself.

"Chewie," she called with quiet affection when she saw him at the computer terminal.

He purred softly at her and stood.

"I brought some kaffe."

Chewie uttered '_many thanks._'

She craned her neck and watched him gulp down a large portion of the steaming liquid. He set the cup aside at the terminal and turned back to her. A rush of sounds flowed from him before he opened his arms and engulfed her in his furry embrace.

His arms seemed to swallow her whole and his long fur felt soft and comforting against her cheek. He hooted in low tones that were heart-warming.

When he released her, she felt sad all over again. It would soon be time for take-off. "I'm going to miss you, Chewbacca."

He roared back softly.

She smiled, not quite catching his rushed words. "I'm going to assume you said the same."

"Actually," a booming voice shattered the solemn moment. "He said it's not good bye, little Princess."

Leia was startled by Han's sudden presence and spun to face him. He leaned in the doorway, expression unreadable, thumbs hooked into his gun belt. "Thank you," she said simply before turning back to Chewie. "I certainly hope so." She glanced at Han then returned to his co-pilot. "Take care of yourself." She nodded in Solo's direction. "And that reckless captain of yours." Her small smile held dark humor.

The giant Wookiee placed a gentle hand on her head, gave a quiet bark, and left the lounge.

Leaving Leia and Han alone.

Han watched her with conflicted emotions. She was staring forlornly at the deck. He didn't know what to say so he ambled to the computer terminal and took a seat, pretending to examine the diagnostic.

"Well," the princess said in a suddenly brisk tone. "I'll leave you to your preparations." She came to stand beside him.

Han didn't want her to go but was not going to make that known. "Okay." He swiveled his chair in her direction. Their eyes met and held as they each struggled with how to say good bye again.

Impulsively, she leaned over and placed a quick, light kiss on his cheek, ignoring how awkward and forced it felt.

Han resisted the crazy urge to grab her around the waist as her kiss tingled his cheek. She stood rapidly and smiled.

"Clear skies, Han."

"Take care, Leia."

It was perhaps the first time he had ever used her given name and it lent gravity to the moment. She nodded and left the lounge, her feet heavy with regret and loss.

Loss…

It was all she had. She had come away from heart-breaking loss with three unexpected friends, the only ones with whom she truly felt herself anymore, if she even knew who that was. They were her comfort, her oasis. And now they were less by two. Now, there was only Luke. And she truly loved Luke. He provided her with solace and she could tell him anything.

Well, maybe not everything. She would not share with him just how hard losing Han and Chewie had hit her. Or how her thoughts lingered on Han.

If Luke was her calm, then Han was her fire. For better or worse, he made her _feel._ Even though he sometimes made her so angry that she wanted to smack that smug grin off his face, she couldn't deny his value in her life. It seemed that whenever her losses began to overwhelm her, Han somehow brought her out of it. Not always in the nicest way but, still, in retrospect, he helped her emotionally, whether it was his intention or not.

Leia had always been able to seek empathy and understanding from Luke and Chewie. Han did not seem to understand her the way they did, but he still supported her in his own way.

Was it odd that she felt such an attachment to someone who could make her so crazy? Did he feel the same for her? It was easy to imagine that he did when he had so often come to her rescue, at great risk to himself. Han was not someone who put himself out there for just anyone. Luke had told her how he had finally motivated Han to attempt her rescue: money. She vividly recalled prying the information out of Luke a week after the Battle at Yavin.

_'__It's hard to believe Solo was willing to rescue a woman he didn't know, a stranger," she had mused. _

_Luke looked sheepish. 'Well, it took some convincing.'_

_'__How did you manage that. The Force?' He had told her the tale of Ben getting them past the stormtroopers in Mos Eisley. _

_His smile was genuinely amused. 'I don't know how to do that. And it only works on the weak minded.'_

_Leia snorted with a quick burst of laughter. 'Solo might be many things, some of which I won't say out loud. But, he definitely has too thick a skull to be weak minded.'_

_They shared a laugh and it boosted her mood just a bit. 'So, how did you do it? I can't imagine what could have motivated him to risk his hide for someone he didn't even know.'_

_'__He's not all bad, you know.'_

_'__Agreed,' she replied simply. 'He has many useful qualities. But what finally did the trick with him?'_

_Luke's eyes were trained on the floor and he shrugged. _

_'__Luuuke?' she implored more firmly. Then she realized it on her own. Of course! 'Let me guess. You told him there would be a reward.' It was a statement rather than a question. It should have dawned on her sooner. _

_Chagrined, he shrugged again, smiling slightly. _

It had irritated her at first. But after the initial anger wore off, she realized something significant: Han had never asked for a reward for rescuing her. He had only asked for the money Kenobi had promised him. She knew this for a fact because she had negotiated and delivered his payment.

Once that fact occurred to her, she no longer felt upset with him. She wasn't certain why Han had a change of heart. Perhaps because he felt he was taking too much from a fledgling military. But no, that couldn't be it. That was not like Han at all. He might feel for individuals, but he did not feel for institutions, certainly not military ones. Leia had pondered the issue for a long time then finally decided he must have been satisfied enough that he had helped keep her from dying. Although she imagined he would never admit it.

And that was when she had realized that Han Solo, self-proclaimed mercenary, smuggler, and resident bad boy, _cared. _At that point, her feelings towards him began to soften.

Of course, he would deny it had she called him out on it. She often wondered what had made him the way he was. He held his past close to the chest, like a female vagnar guarding a newborn cub in a den of predators. Every time she and Luke discussed their lives before the Death Star, Han only alluded to his own experiences. But these were vague and told them nothing of substance. She could only assume his past was painful and it made her want to know more, want to know him better. But he never allowed it. Therefore, she could never get close to him the way she could with Luke.

Now, there may never be the opportunity. It embarrassed her to admit, even to herself, that the thought made her a bit mournful.

With a deep sigh, Leia headed to the Command Center. She was early for her shift but work was the one thing that could take her mind off what was bothering her.

XXXXXX

Soaring out of the atmosphere towards open space, The Millennium Falcon carried its crew, who both remained silent throughout. Once they entered hyperspace, Chewie grumbled in a melancholy tone and left the cockpit.

It didn't feel right, not knowing when, or if, he might see Leia and Luke again. He wondered what Leia was thinking about right now. Him?

He could still feel the warmth of her lips on his cheek. Surely, it was his imagination.

It was only a few hours to the new base. The closer they got to it the more unhappy Han felt.

_That's it_, he thought. _This rebellion stuff isn't worth it anymore. One more mission and I'm outta here. _

It was for the best. Han Solo didn't need anyone.


	5. Chapter 5: Yearning

Thanks for all the love :) It always inspires me to write more! And now, absence makes the heart grow fonder ;)

XXX

With the Falcon gone, Leia and Luke had taken to spending time in her quarters. Leia was aware of the rumors flying around the base and at this point didn't even care.

There was a void in their lives that Han and Chewie had once occupied, and Leia felt it keenly.

Sitting on her bunk together, she and Luke were discussing his latest mission and fell suddenly quiet.

Her thoughts strayed to Han and she wondered what he was doing just then. Did he think about her as much as she thought about him? She doubted it.

"I miss them too." Luke's voice was gentle and when Leia looked up at him, he was smiling softly.

How did he so often know what she was thinking? She smiled back as much as she could muster and shook her head. Her eyes lowered to the bunk.

"When we first met him, I never would have thought that Han 'the mercenary' Solo would become so important to me."

"Yeah," Luke agreed with a fond smile. "I thought he was a total jerk at first." He laughed lightly. "I didn't even want Ben to hire him for the charter. Looking back, I think Ben felt there was more to Han than meets the eye."

"There is," Leia said dryly. "You just have to wait a few months, get a power-shovel, and dig _very _deep."

Luke laughed brightly this time. "That's about right."

"It took me a long time to truly see that. You know how he is."

"Yep!"

"One minute he's the most loyal friend ever, the next he's denouncing everything and everyone. It's hard to know which is the real Han."

"I think the real Han is the one who's the most loyal friend ever. He just doesn't want anyone to know it."

Leia sighed and Luke watched as conflicted emotions played over her features. His head tilted thoughtfully to one side. Over the past year, he had often observed the way Han and Leia watched the other when they thought no one was paying attention. Over time, he noticed it more and more. And he realized that there was a spark between them that was more than friendship, but that neither would admit.

At first, their unique dynamic confused Luke. They alternated between hostile and amiable and it seemed an unlikely friendship, one forged simply through Luke's connection to both of them and their shared experience on the Death Star. But then he began to pay better attention. Whenever one was in danger, the other risked themselves selflessly, with genuine fear and concern. Of course, they both did the same for Luke. But neither ever looked at him the way they looked at each other. The thought brought a giggle to his lips but he suppressed it.

At that point, he tried to be less frustrated by their frequent arguments, which wasn't always easy. Clearly, each needed to work out their feelings on their own.

"I'm sure we'll see him soon," Luke encouraged Leia.

Leia bit her lip and met his gaze. "Can I confess something to you?"

_Here it comes!_ Luke thought. _Finally! _"Of course," he replied mildly.

Her gaze flickered away then back to him. "I contacted Rattaran, just to make sure he hadn't left." She gazed at him expectantly.

_Oh. _Not quite the confession he was expecting. "I don't think he would leave without contacting us."

She arched a brow at him. "This is Han we're talking about."

Luke sighed. "True." He paused. "But, he's still there, right?"

"Yes." It had been such a relief to hear. Her head jumped up suddenly. "Don't you ever tell him that!"

Luke chuckled. "Don't worry, I won't."

"He's such a nerfherder," she said, shaking her head, pressing her lips together.

Luke smiled, wondering if Leia was even aware of her feelings for Han. Was it just infatuation? He got the sense it was more. Perhaps his absence would bring things to a head.

He glanced at the chrono. "Oh, I gotta get to my shift." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hang in there." He offered an encouraging smile, kissed her on the cheek, and left her quarters.

As he stepped through the doorway, a passing soldier glanced in his direction and looked away with a smirk.

Luke rolled his eyes as he headed in the other direction.

XXXX

With grim determination, Han approached the pilot of the small rebel freighter, The Andor. Han didn't know him well, but his name was Lieutenant Quidroan and he seemed pleasant enough.

"Hey, Quidroan!" Han called amicably, forcing a smile.

The pilot looked up from where he was examining something on a data pad. He was shorter than Han, with dark, thinning hair and dark eyes.

"Solo," he responded coolly. "What'd I do to earn a visit from such a hero?" His grin was gruffly teasing.

Han grimaced inwardly. He hated comments like that. A lot of the newer pilots had an attitude with him. Those that had been at Yavin treated him just like everyone else. Wedge had once suggested that the newer pilots were jealous.

But if he wanted a favor, he needed to be nice. He forced a smile, hoping it seemed genuine. "I hear you're bringing supplies to Wishnu."

"Yeah, easy run." He returned his attention to the datapad.

"How 'bout you let me do that run?" He forced a casual shrug, as if it were no big deal to him.

Narrowed eyes flicked back to him. "Why would I do that?"

"Just askin' a favor." Han shrugged.

Quidroan eyed him with thoughtful suspicion. "Nah. Too easy a trip. No dice, Solo."

Han grimaced as the man seemed to dismiss him and look back at the datapad. "What's the big deal?" he asked with a good-natured smile.

Quidroan sighed in obvious irritation. "If I don't take this assignment, who knows what I'll get. Nothin' so easy. Besides, it's a small shipment. Your ship's big. It'd be a waste of fuel."

He had been prepared for this. "What if I throw in a bottle of vintage Corellian brandy?"

The man looked up quickly, brow raised. He seemed to consider it. "Make it two bottles and I'll consider it."

He pretended to think it over. "Okay, two. But that's all I have so take it or leave it," he bluffed.

The pilot crossed his arms over his chest, datapad in hand but forgotten. His lower lip popped out and he nodded from side-to-side. "Okay, Solo," he finally conceded. "You got yourself a deal."

Han downplayed his relief and delight. He stuck out a hand to shake on it. Quidroan clasped his hand firmly.

He felt suddenly better than he had in months.

XXXX

"Sorry, Captain Solo," Major Derlin told Han when he requested clearance for the trip. "But if Quidroan makes this run we don't have to pay him. And he requires less fuel. We're not going to pay you for a run that a member of the Alliance can make free of charge."

Han was aware that Derlin didn't like him. He didn't trust him because he was a smuggler and he didn't respect him because he refused to become an official member of the Alliance. Han didn't like him either.

His mouth tore to one side in annoyance. "What if I do it for free?"

Derlin's eyes were startled when he looked up at Han. "I was under the impression that you did nothing for free."

Han gritted his teeth then settled on his most magnanimous grin. "That's usually true. So, why don't you take advantage of it while you can?" Why did he have to get stuck with Derlin? Rieekan wouldn't give him this much trouble. But Rieekan was on Wishnu. With Leia and Luke.

The Major fixed a hard stare on him. "I'm not paying for your fuel."

_Asshole. _"Don't worry, I'll take care of the fuel."

Derlin sighed as if the conversation were exceptionally daunting. "All right, Solo. You can have this run. With no pay, and the fuel at your own cost."

_Aren't you generous! _he thought snidely. "Thanks, Major." He spun away as quickly as he could, wishing he could tell this pompous idiot to shove it.

But everything had fallen into place. Thoughts of Derlin were quickly swept away in anticipation of his visit to Wishnu.

XXXX

In the Command Center, Leia was busy reviewing upcoming assignments at one of the many terminals. She paid no mind to the conversation around her.

Well, this made no sense. Someone had assigned the Rogues to accompany her on a diplomatic mission at the same time they were scheduled to raid the Kuwatti shipyards. She grunted in frustration. Didn't anyone cross-check the manifests?

"…Millennium Falcon…approaching…"

Leia's head spun to find a technician reporting to a commanding officer. The senior officer leaned over to examine the scopes.

She stood and tried to be casual as she approached them, trying to hold back her excitement in case she had heard wrong. "Is that an unidentified ship?"

They both looked up in surprise and the Lieutenant stood up straight and met her questioning eyes.

"Corellian Light Freighter, YT-1300 class. Transmission checks out as the Millennium Falcon, Princess."

A smile threatened to burst forth and her heart soared. She bit her lip to hold it back. "Give them clearance to land," she instructed.

"Right away, Princess," the technician replied, turning back to the console and speaking into the comm system. "Millennium Falcon, you are cleared for…"

His words faded out as Leia hurried from the Command Center, a bounce in her step for the first time in a long time.


	6. Chapter 6: Reunited and it Feels So Good

A Han/Leia reunion always feels good! I was planning on posting this tomorrow or Monday but decided to give you a bonus post for being such great readers/reviewers! Thank you and hope you enjoy :)

XXX

Han set her down in the Rebel hangar with expert precision. He could feel a warm thrill shooting through his veins at the thought of seeing the princess. He was tempted to leave the ship on stand-by in his hurry but realized he was being extreme. Besides, he didn't want to seem too eager…even though he was.

Forcing himself not to rush, he went through the usual shut-down procedure. Chewie was aft, checking a gauge that had given them trouble during the flight.

Once shut-down was finished, Han headed to the ramp and hit the controls to lower it.

Would Leia be in her office? The Command Center? It was disconcerting how much he wanted to locate her immediately. He sauntered down the ramp, trying to contain his excitement, and stopped suddenly at the sight of the princess ten feet away from the bottom of the ramp. Han couldn't remember ever being so pleased in his life.

She was grinning at him and he set himself into motion again, smiling broadly at her in return. He was pleasantly surprised when she launched herself into his waiting arms.

He embraced her tightly, knowing he was smiling like an idiot but he didn't care. It felt like the most natural thing in the galaxy when he swung her around, still clutching her to him. He didn't want to let go but finally replaced her on the floor of the hangar. But he didn't step away from her. It felt too good to be close to her.

They looked at each other, smiling into each other's eyes. Han couldn't remember the last time he had seen her smile like that. She was beautiful, as always, but when she smiled like that, she was stunning.

Leia couldn't believe Han was really there. She realized they were making a spectacle of themselves and looked around to find most of the beings in the hangar watching them with varying levels of obviousness. Some stared boldly, even when they saw her glance at them. Others looked away the second she caught them. Leia's cheeks flushed pink and she took a step back, suddenly regretting her public, unbridled response.

Han took the cue, glanced around without really seeing, and remained in place. He forced himself to dampen down the grin that had cracked at the sight of Leia.

"What are you doing here?" she asked more demurely.

"Supply drop." He gestured over his shoulder at his ship.

"Oh. I had no idea you were bringing the supplies."

At least she was still smiling. "Figured I'd surprise you guys."

Luke! She hadn't given him a thought. "Luke's going to be so happy to see you!"

"Like you, Princess?" The words slipped out.

She blushed faintly. But her smile remained. "Yes, like me."

Han grinned, feeling good.

"I have to get back to work," she said suddenly. "You'll be here a while?"

"Yeah. Come by the Falcon after your shift."

"I will."

"Where's Luke?"

Leia thought for a moment. "I'm not sure. He might be in the mess hall. Or running drills with the Rogues."

"Okay, I'll find him."

She looked at him for a moment, a delighted smile on her face and something electric swirled in the air between them. "I'll see you later." She placed a light hand on his arm, as if she were making sure he was real, then turned to go.

Han watched her stride through the hangar, thinking that she was a sight for sore eyes. He decided to go hunt Luke down and followed her path from the hangar. For a moment, he thought to go back for his co-pilot but decided he must have busied himself with something or other.

As he wound through the corridors, his thoughts lingered on Leia's enthusiastic greeting. He smiled to himself, recalling the way she threw herself into his arms, how it felt to swing her around and hold her close. He still felt elated. When was the last time he had felt so good? Had he ever?

When he failed to locate Luke, Han went to the Command Center and inquired with one of the young rebels manning a console.

"Sorry," the kid said. He looked even younger than Luke had when they first met. "That's information I can only give out to members of the Rebel Alliance."

Seriously?! "Look, I'm a friend of Luke's. I'm stationed over at Rattaran."

"And what is your name?"

"I'm Captain Han Solo," he boasted, assuming the boy would be struck with hero worship and just tell him where Luke was.

"Oh! From the Battle of Yavin?"

And there it was. "The very same," Han crowed.

He turned back to his terminal and entered something. "I'm sorry, Captain Solo." He spun to face Han. "You're not listed as an official member of the Alliance and you don't have clearance."

Han was getting angry now and he opened his mouth to tell the little jerk off. Before a harsh word could tumble from his lips, he was interrupted by a deep voice from behind him.

"It's okay, Ensign Matoshi. You can give Solo whatever he's asking for."

A smile of satisfaction replaced Han's frown. He spun to face the senior officer.

General Rieekan returned his smile and offered Han his hand. Han clasped it firmly.

"Thank you, General."

"Good to see you, Solo." They shook and let their hands fall to their sides.

"You too, General."

"How are things at Rattaran?"

Han's mouth tilted to a sardonic expression. "You want the truth, or you wanna hear what you wanna hear?"

Rieekan grinned. "From you? Always the truth."

"Boring as hell," Han declared, face falling flat.

The general chuckled. "Count yourself lucky. If it wasn't boring, you'd probably be getting attacked by the Empire."

Han made a face. "I think I'll take my chance with the Imps just to get away from Derlin."

"Captain Solo," the ensign interjected. He was standing up now, facing them. "Commander Skywalker is in debrief."

Rieekan leaned over the console and examined it before turning back to face Han. "Come on, I'll take you over there. Skywalker should just be finishing up."

"Great." He fell into step beside him and they headed out of the Command Center.

"What brings you here."

"Supply drop."

"That's a pretty minor assignment for a man like you."

Han shrugged. "Gotta do something."

"Have you seen Princess Leia yet?"

The question surprised him. "I did."

There was a beat of silence.

"Where's Chewbacca?"

"He was still on the Falcon when I left her."

"I imagine the four of you have a lot of catching up to do while you're here. How long will you be sticking around?"

He sighed. "Not long. I'll probably head out tomorrow, late in the day."

A bustle of activity flurried around them on their way to find Luke, personnel carrying supplies, large equipment transported on hoversleds. Some of the younger officers saluted Rieekan as he passed.

"That's a shame," Rieekan replied. "I think the Princess and Skywalker could use some cheering up."

Han frowned, recognizing that it was an odd, although sincere comment. He wanted to ask what the general meant by that but didn't want to actually be part of such a discussion.

They travelled the rest of the way in silence until they came upon a large door that was tightly closed. Rieekan checked his chrono.

"They should be getting out any minute." He turned to face Han. "If I don't see you before you leave, good luck."

"Thank you, General. You too." They shook hands again before Rieekan promptly turned and left.

Han leaned back against the wall, waiting for Luke to emerge. He liked this base way better than Rattaran.

His thoughts turned back to the princess. Picturing her smile when she saw him spread an intense warmth through his chest. It was like nothing he had ever felt before. It was at once pleasurable and a bit scary. He couldn't quite pinpoint _why _it felt scary so he pushed it out of his mind.

The 'welcome backs' were so much nicer than at Rattaran, where no one really cared that much, including him.

He frowned to himself, for the first time noticing that he actually _wanted_ someone to care that he was there. How had that happened?

Han Solo had been alone for so long that it was easily his default setting. He never wanted to 'belong,' which was just one reason why he hadn't joined the Rebel Alliance. Now he realized that a sense of 'belonging' was what Leia and Luke made him feel. A part of something other than himself.

He allowed that thought to roll around his brain, trying to decide what to do with it. In the past, it had always been easy to remain aloof and uninvolved. And he strove to remain that way after the Death Star. He should have realized when he stuck around afterwards that there was more to it.

_I knew there was more to you than money._

Apparently, there now was.

Hs reverie was interrupted by the door sliding open and Luke and Wedge walked out in deep conversation. Wedge noticed him first.

"Hey!" he called to Han.

Luke turned to follow the man's gaze. His eyes widened. "Han?!" The biggest smile burst across his face and he sprung forward, grabbing Han in a huge hug.

Han laughed out loud and clapped Luke firmly on the back. When Luke took a step away, he stared at Han in awed surprise, one hand on his arm.

"What are you doing here? When did you get here? Are you stationed here now?"

Han chuckled. "Slow down, Kid. One at a time."

The younger man's hand fell to his side and his grin was sheepish. "Sorry." He laughed lightly.

Although Han hadn't appreciated it at the time they met, Luke's youthful exuberance was one of the things that made him so likeable. You always knew what he was feeling. He was so open, a trait Han couldn't possibly share.

"Are you stationed here now?" Luke asked more calmly as Wedge sidled up to them.

"Hey, Solo," Luke's wing man called.

"How's it going, Antilles?"

"Good to see you," Wedge responded. He turned to Luke. "I'll see ya later, for the drills."

"Okay, Wedge." As the other man turned away, Luke pivoted back to Han with eager eyes.

"Nah, I didn't get transferred here." His lips pressed together grimly. "Just delivering supplies."

Luke nodded and Han could see the disappointment behind his eyes. "How long are you staying?"

"Gotta head back tomorrow." He paused. "But come by the Falcon later. I picked up some fresh food."

Luke's grin returned in full force. "Oh, man, what a treat. Can't wait!" His expression became a sudden mock look of horror. "You're not cooking, are you?"

He faked a scowl, shoved Luke lightly and the kid laughed. "Get outta here!"

"You're never going to live that down, you know."

Han shook his head from side to side and rolled his eyes. "Where ya headed?"

"Maintenance."

"I'll walk with you, see the sights."

Luke nodded and Han walked beside him, taking everything in as they went.

"How're things at Rattaran?"

"They suck," Han stated plainly.

"What's so bad about it?"

"Everything."

"You just miss Leia and me." He flashed Han a crooked, knowing smile.

Han looked down his nose at Luke. "Mighty high opinion of yourself you got there."

There was light humor in Luke's voice and his eyes twinkled. "Tell me you don't."

"Shut up, Junior." He smiled and ruffled Luke's hair, drawing a dirty look from him as he patted his hair back into place.

Han jutted his chin in Luke's direction. "Who you tryin' to impress? You finally get a girlfriend or somethin'?"

Luke blushed and looked at the floor, a shy smile creeping across his face. Han stopped short.

"No way! Who's the lucky girl?" This information would last him all night.

"No one you know," Luke murmured.

"When can I know her? Bring her over to the Falcon later."

He didn't raise his eyes from the floor. "She's not on base."

Han halted and Luke took several steps before realizing his friend had stopped walking. He stopped as well and turned back, finally looking him in the eye.

"Wait a minute, is this girl invisible?" He couldn't help the quirk at one side of his mouth. "You're making her up, aren't you?"

Luke gaped for a moment then shook his head, laughing silently. "You're ridiculous."

"Hey, I get it." He resumed walking and Luke fell into step with him. "Haven't seen you in a while, you want to impress me…" He trailed off as if the rest of the thought was a forgone conclusion.

"Believe me," Luke replied dryly. "I don't feel the need to impress you."

"All right. But I'll believe her when I see 'er." He let out a shrugging sigh.

Luke stopped suddenly by an open bay. "This is maintenance. I gotta go. But I'll see you later."

Han offered a mock salute. "See ya later, Commander."

Like responded with a huge smile and rushed into maintenance.

Han smiled to himself and headed back to the Falcon.


	7. Chapter 7: Oh What a Night

I know the Han and Leia interaction in the last chapter was short, but here is a longer, more satisfying chapter ;) Hope you enjoy it and thank you all :)

XXXX

He deliberately left the Falcon's hatch open and Han heard footsteps approaching the engine room. It surprised him that someone had arrived so early and he expected it to be Luke. He poked his head up from the engine pit just as the princess came into sight. _This is a pleasant surprise._

Leia smiled at him. "Hi."

Han smiled back. "You must be here on official business. You couldn't possibly have stopped working so early."

"I did. Surprised?"

"Stunned," he replied dryly. "I must rate high on your priority chart, Princess."

Blatantly called out on her feelings, Leia tried not to show that the statement embarrassed her. She resisted the urge to avert her gaze. "Don't flatter yourself. For once, my plate was not as full as usual." Her strong voice did not betray her, thanks to her time on the senate floor. She was well versed in sounding strong and confident, even when she didn't feel it. It had served her well on the Death Star.

Han moved on. "Just gotta finish up a few things." Now he wished he hadn't started this project. He nodded towards the toolbox that was within his reach. "Hand me the hydrospanner."

She came closer and bent down to look at the tools, quickly picked out the spanner, and handed it to him. He took the tool from her and she sat on the deck, legs dangling into the pit as Han returned to his work.

"Funny that there was a time when I didn't even know what a hydrospanner looked like," she mused.

Han's voice drifted up to her ears. "Yeah, I guess your royal education didn't cover that."

Leia smiled down at the top of his head. She had always liked the deep, masculine sound of his voice. "No, it most definitely did not."

Han turned the spanner, thinking for perhaps the thousandth time about the distance between their upbringings. When he really examined it, it seemed impossible that they were friends. Yet, somehow, they were. In any other circumstances, they wouldn't be. If not for the tragedy of Alderaan, she would be a completely different person and would never have acknowledged his existence.

He brushed off those thoughts. "Well, Your Worshipfulness," he said with a glance and a grin. "You've mastered all the tools on this ship. You've made the big time now."

She winced. Of all the ways he mocked her title, that was the one she hated most. But she wouldn't allow him to see it. "Lucky me. I'm ready to join the Smuggler's Guild."

Han laughed out loud, meeting her eyes with a twinkle in his. He rarely laughed with such genuine humor and it made Leia feel a bit triumphant. The nickname was forgotten.

"Just make sure your ship has a secret smuggling compartment. Comes in handy." He grunted as he turned a valve to tighten it.

Leia smiled to herself in amusement, trying to picture herself as a smuggler. She couldn't. "I would have to have the fastest ship," she stated playfully.

"Sorry, Sweetheart." He looked up at her from inside the pit. "Falcon's already taken." He winked and turned back to his work.

Leia felt suddenly warm, recalling the first time he had winked at her, after she placed the medal around his neck on Yavin IV. There was something very appealing about him when he did that. It made her feel as if they had something private between them, an inside joke that no one else could share.

"Han, what made you decide to become a smuggler?"

Hands still busy with the inner workings of his ship, he didn't look up at her but she saw a slight closing of the open expression that had been there a moment ago.

"Ah, long story," he muttered to the part he was adjusting. Without looking up, he handed her the spanner and she quietly returned it to the toolbox.

"Well," she said softly. "We have all night."

Han didn't reply, pretending to be more deeply engaged with his mindless repairs. He didn't like discussing his smuggling career with her. It reminded him of the first time he had revealed that he was not a legal charter but transported illegal spice. It had happened on the way back from the Death Star and he could tell that her disdain for him had increased ten-fold.

He did a quick flip of two switches then placed his hands on the deck the opposite of where Leia sat and hauled himself out of the pit. He stood and glanced down at his filthy hands and the grease on his shirt.

"I'm gonna hit the shower," Han declared without looking at her. He strode towards his cabin.

Leia watched him go, wondering if he would ever let his guard down and let anyone in.

XXX

Sitting in the captain's chair, Leia contemplated the man she knew. His unwillingness to talk about his past made her wonder even more how he had come to be the person he was today. He was so difficult to figure out. She knew he had grudgingly admitted to Luke he had no family. She felt an irrational jealousy that Han had shared something with Luke that he normally kept locked away. Leia could barely get him to admit he had ever been a child. Who had raised him? Where had he lived?

She assumed that his life had been hard and at some point, he had decided not to trust anyone. It was a shame that he didn't realize he could trust her with anything, that she wouldn't judge him and accepted him for who he was. It seemed that her being royalty was a strike against her in his eyes. She was sure he felt she could never understand the things he had been through. Which made it impossible for her to get closer to him.

Things were so effortless with Luke. With Han, they were the opposite. Perhaps Han found him effortless as well, which might be why he had confessed that one bit about his past. Did he find her as difficult as she found him?

_Probably_, she thought with a bitter smile.

Underneath his hard exterior there was a definite softness that he fought to conceal from everyone. It wasn't easy to see, but it was there. It was the reason Han had come back to Yavin; the reason he had risked his life for Luke and herself, over and over. And it was the reason he was still there.

It had been almost impossible to see in the beginning. Han had done an admirable job of pretending not to care about anyone or anything. On the trip to Yavin he had been quite convincing and Leia had completely believed him to be the mercenary he claimed to be. Her first inkling of doubt had come at the briefing for the Death Star battle. His attendance had surprised her. For some reason she had been compelled to watch him carefully. Maybe she had needed a distraction and he was an interesting one. He had paid rapt attention to the attack plan and Leia had wondered why he was so interested when he claimed his only allegiance was to money.

Afterwards, she had personally delivered his reward. He had been quiet, almost solemn, as if he were prematurely mourning her death at the hands of the Empire. And when he wished her luck there had been something almost apologetic in his eyes. For a moment, Leia felt a bit sorry for him, believing he wanted to help but didn't know how to allow himself. She realized she bore him no ill will, even though he could be maddening. As she had told Luke, he had his own path to follow and no one could choose it but him.

But then he had come back and it sealed her opinion of him: there truly was more to him than money. And he had proven that was true, even if he hated to admit it.

She couldn't imagine the circumstances that caused him to decide he needed to be so unequivocally hard and callous, unable to admit to caring for anyone. It broke her heart a little.

She was startled by the sound of the cockpit door swishing open. When she spun Han's chair around, she found him standing in the doorway, shirtless, toweling his hair dry. She swallowed hard and drew her eyes to the deck.

"There you are," he declared.

When she returned her eyes to his, he had slung the towel across his shoulders. Leia forced herself not to glance at his naked torso.

"Looked all over the ship for you," he added. "Didn't expect you to be in here enjoying the view." He smirked.

Leia glanced out the viewport at the hangar that was not as bustling as it could be. She smiled sheepishly. "I was just thinking."

"About what?"

_The mystery of you_, she thought. Aloud she said lightly, "Alliance business. Nothing that would interest you."

His smile faltered momentarily then sprung back to life. "Okay, well, I'll meet you in the lounge."

"Where's Chewie?"

"He went to check out the base a while ago. Should be back soon." He turned and left the cockpit.

Leia watched his broad, tan shoulders recede until the door whispered shut and cut off her view. She took a deep, steadying breath. She had been greeted with a shirtless Han only once in the past and the sight had thrown her completely off balance then also. It seemed so intimate for him to be standing there, half naked and she couldn't refrain from thoughts of running her hands over his warm skin. Just thinking about it made her tingle all over. She had seen Luke without a shirt several times but somehow it never affected her in such a way.

She needed to pull herself together. Han was handsome, she couldn't deny that. And there was something about him…the swagger, the confidence, his virile masculinity, that made him very attractive to women. She hated to lump herself into a category of women that was swayed by good looks.

_Must be in my biology_, she mused bitterly. _Some instinct that's inborn and unable to be helped_.

With a sigh, Leia left the cockpit and went to the lounge. She took a seat at the couch and tried to distract herself from thinking about Han. It was not an easy task while sitting in the middle of this ship that was so _him_.

Luke's upcoming mission with the Rogues was going to be dangerous. Leia always worried about him when he was gone. She knew he was quite capable. But she couldn't shake the feeling that something might happen to him. He was all she had left. Tomorrow Han and Chewie would be gone again.

She worried about Han too. He was smart, with excellent instincts and talented piloting skills. And he was a quick thinker and just as quick draw with his blaster. But he was also reckless, overly confident, and highly impulsive. His self-proclaimed Corellian luck was bound to run out.

Leia realized she was thinking about him again and pressed her lips together as she reprimanded herself.

"I need to stop this," she muttered to herself.

"What?"

She looked up as Han sauntered over to the table. He had put on a black, pullover shirt that had a hood hanging down the back. It was more casual than his usual attire and Leia rather liked it on him.

"Nothing," she answered. "Just thinking."

His brow rose but he said nothing.

"Chewie's not back yet?"

He shook his head. "No. Gotta wait on him to cook."

"That's okay. I'm not very hungry."

Han smirked. "What else is new? You always eaten like a bird? Or does war make you lose your appetite?" He could easily recall that she had had more weight on her when they first met. It had made her look younger. Now, she was thinner and any vestiges of girlhood had fled. Han was highly aware that she was unquestionably a woman. In her short, tan tunic and matching pants that were tight in all the right places, he would have to be blind not to notice.

"I think my current lifestyle in less conducive to regular meals," she finally answered.

"Yeah, not to mention, the food here sucks."

Leia smiled at the comment. "Well, yes, that too."

"The Imperials get better food, that's for sure."

_An opening, how rare_. "I bet." She paused. "What did they feed you?"

He shifted to better meet her eyes. "Well, nothing great. But it was better than the slop here."

Leia felt a bit defensive. "The Empire has one hundred times the resources the Alliance does, probably more."

Han's brow lowered slightly and he wondered how he had pissed her off this time. He hadn't even been trying. "Yeah, of course." He steered carefully away from the topic. "Where is that damned fuzzball anyway?" He pulled the comm from his belt, pressed a button, and spoke into it. "Chewie! Chewie, where are you?"

After a long bout of silence, the Wookiee's barks and growls came through the comm, sounding tinny and distant.

"We're waitin' on you," Han replied. He listened to the reply then spoke into the comm again. "All right, see you soon." He switched it off and replaced it on his gun belt. "He's coming," he informed Leia. "When'll Luke be here?"

"Hopefully soon. I'm not sure what was on his agenda this afternoon."

It was still surprising that Leia had arrived so early. In the past, they had often had to practically drag her from her work. But he was happy to have her all to himself for a while.

"But I'm sure he will be here. He wouldn't miss it," she added.

"You wanna drink?"

"It's a bit early for that."

"Even for water?"

She smiled. "Okay, water I will take."

Han smiled back before rising and making his way to the galley to fetch her water. He was thoroughly enjoying her company, perhaps more than he could remember ever enjoying being with her before. What was the saying? Absence makes the heart grow fonder? It seemed to be true. Leia seemed abundantly happy to see him too. He didn't even feel the urge to tease her to the brink of irritation. He was too pleased with the peace between them.

On his way back to the lounge, Luke appeared in the corridor, smiling gleefully.

"Hey!"

"Hey, you made it."

"Wouldn't miss it for anything in the galaxy."

And Han knew that Luke meant it. "Ya thirsty?" He chucked a thumb over his shoulder.

"No, I'm good."

The two men entered the lounge to find Leia smiling even wider. "Together again," she said softly.

"Now we just need Chewie," Luke said.

As if summoned by Luke's comment, a loud bark sounded from the access corridor and Chewie burst into the room, growling a long, enthusiastic greeting.e H

"Oh, Chewie," Leia said with plain joy in her voice. She jumped up and practically skipped to him.

The Wookiee's reply was heartfelt and he wrapped his long arms around her with the gentleness Leia was used to. He let go of her and turned to Luke, picking him up in a bone crushing embrace.

Luke laughed even though his voice sounded strained. "Good to see you too, Chewie." When his feet hit the floor again, they were all standing, more or less, in a circle, beaming at each other.

Chewbacca announced that he was going to prepare dinner.

"What's on the menu, Chewie?" Luke asked eagerly.

"Burra fish," Han answered first.

"You know, I never thought I would grow to love fish. But I think it's one of my favorites now," Luke admitted.

Han laughed as Chewie fled to the kitchen. "I'll never forget your face the first time you tried it." He couldn't suppress another chuckle at the thought.

Luke shrugged with a self-deprecating smile. "It was very different from anything else I'd ever had."

Leia left the men to themselves and sought out Chewbacca in the galley. He was generously sprinkling spices on several huge pieces of fish at the counter. Leia stopped just inside the doorway to the tiny room. "Do you need any help?"

With a glance and a toothy smile, The Wookiee responded negatively.

Leia smiled softly. "I'm so happy you're here."

His head tilted to one side and he told her that he was also happy to see her, as was Han. Even if he didn't say the words.

She smirked in return. "I know he wouldn't say so, but I know he misses us." She paused. "Are you sure you don't need any help?"

His reply was again negative. "_Go be with Han_," he growled softly.

Leia wasn't sure she was translating correctly. It seemed an odd thing to say. She almost wanted to clarify but was a bit apprehensive. Instead, she left the galley and found Han and Luke at the game table having a good-natured conversation. When Han spotted her, he raised a hand to wave her over.

"Hey, Princess, c'mere. I gotta ask you something."

She slid into the seat beside him and he curved an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. She liked the casualness of the gesture, the warmth. She could feel it coursing through her entire body and it was difficult to pay attention to his words.

"So, who's this girlfriend of Luke's I haven't heard enough about?"

His arm remained in place and Leia tried to form a coherent sentence. She looked at Luke. "I hadn't realized it had elevated to 'girlfriend' status."

His cheeks were pink. "I-I don't know about that…" he stammered.

Han turned his eyes on Leia, enjoying her closeness. It seemed to fill up the empty space he'd had inside him recently. "You mean, you've seen this woman? She's real?"

She knew he was teasing Luke and decided to play along. "Well," she began slowly. "I've seen her. At least Luke has pointed her out. I've never actually _seen _them together." She suppressed a coy smile.

For the briefest of moments, Luke's brow wrinkled with confusion and hurt. Then he seemed to catch on to the joke and his brow softened. "Okay, you caught me," he said, deadpan. "I'm making it up. I've never even spoken to her." One side of his mouth curled slightly upwards.

Han flashed a mock-triumphant grin. "I knew it!" He removed his arm from Leia's shoulders and leaned back in his seat.

With his touch gone, she realized they were sitting inappropriately close. She slid away to a more respectable distance.

The movement wasn't lost on Han. He had wanted an excuse to touch her and to be sure she would sit next to him rather than Luke. But he realized that he couldn't keep his arm around her all night.

"Do you ever think about after the war? When the Empire is defeated?" Luke asked suddenly.

Although he addressed them both, Leia felt as if Luke were talking directly to her. "All the time."

"What do you think about?"

He sounded wistful and Han had a feeling this conversation was going to get serious.

Leia sighed. "I think about establishing a new republic. Reinstating the senate, choosing a leader."

_I'm thinkin' about dinner_, Han thought snidely. He decided to keep his thoughts to himself. The last thing he wanted was to end up arguing with the princess tonight.

"But what about personal goals?" His voice was passionate now, a quality Leia always appreciated in him.

She tilted her head to one side, trying to understand. "What do you mean by 'personal goals?'"

"Well…" His eyes fell to the table with a far-off look. "I've been thinking about marriage and a family."

Han couldn't hide a disdainful smile. "You gettin' married now, Kid? You might wanna introduce yourself first."

Leia shot him a dirty look and Luke ignored him.

"I'm not talking specifically about Shyla," he explained.

_Shyla_, Han noted.

"You know, on Tatooine, I dreamed of joining the Academy. It seemed to be the only way off that sinkhole." He smiled without humor. "And that's all I wanted, to get off Tatooine and be a pilot."

"Of course," Leia acknowledged.

"But then, life as I knew it changed and everything was sort of turned upside down."

She could not disagree with that. It had happened to her as well. "And here we are." It seemed that one never knew when your destiny might change in an instant.

He nodded at the table, deep in thought for a moment. His gaze returned to her. "And then it was all fighting and running, flying and shooting. And there was no time to think of anything else. No thoughts of 'after.' Just thoughts of now."

Leia understood very well. She deliberately buried herself in work to avoid thinking of 'before.' And it didn't give her much time for 'after' either. There was only right now, this moment in time to live in.

"I suppose that's the nature of war," she conjectured. "Everything is immediate, urgent." Her voice softened, became focused inward. "And the end seems so far off…"

Han heard the sadness in her voice and it made him want to place his arm around her again. But he did nothing, feeling keenly distant from their conversation.

"But lately," Luke continued. "I've been thinking about after. It's like I'm _allowing _myself to think of after."

Leia smiled, loving that Luke was the dreamer for them all. "It's good to have hopes. And dreams."

Luke's expression darkened slightly. "But then there's the Jedi."

"What about them?" Han asked, just to join the conversation in a way that still left him out of it.

Luke looked at his older friend as if he had forgotten that he and Leia weren't alone. "Well," he answered slowly. "I still want to become a Jedi Knight. And I'm still not even sure how to do that." He turned his gaze back to Leia. "Can I do that? Can I do that and have a family someday? Maybe it will be too much."

It surprised both Luke and Leia when Han was the first to respond. "Listen, Kid. Keep your dreams. Maybe someday you'll have the answers." He raised a dismissive hand. "You're not there yet. Just live for today. You can't do much about tomorrow."

Leia blinked at him. In a less eloquent manner, he had expressed her thoughts exactly. "I think Han's right." Her eyes were still on him and he appeared surprised by her validation.

A slow smile grew across his features and he tipped his head towards her while addressing Luke. "Smartest thing the princess's ever said."

Luke caught Leia's eyes and they shared a twinkle of amusement.

"It might be the first time Han has ever made sense," she stage-whispered to Luke loud enough for the Corellian to hear. She allowed her smile to fade and became serious. "You're putting too much pressure on yourself. As Han said, keep your dreams. Hold onto them and let your future path lead you there. But stay in the here and now, because that's what you can control right now."

"Hey, I just said that," Han chastised with a crooked smile over that charming scar on his chin. Her eyes had been drawn to it since the trip to Yavin.

Luke glanced from one to the other. "Don't you have dreams beyond the war?"

Han took it as a rhetorical question.

Leia sighed and leaned forward. "Luke, right now, ending the war and restoring democracy to the galaxy is my only dream. It's been my dream almost as long as I can remember. I can't see past it." She felt suddenly tired.

Luke watched her carefully. "What did you dream about before the Rebellion?"

Why did it feel as if they were at odds with each other? Leia thought for a moment before shaking her head. "I don't remember." She smiled apologetically. "Maybe I dreamed of sliding on a rainbow."

Luke offered a weak smile then became pensive. "Han, you must have some dreams. I can't imagine you'd want to smuggle for the rest of your life."

Why did they always turn things on him? He shrugged impassively. "I take my own advice," he stated dispassionately. "Live today, it's all you can do."

Luke smiled at the typical Han-like response. "I think Leia said it better," he drawled.

"Ah, go suck some exhaust." Han gave a rude hand gesture and Luke laughed while Leia rolled her eyes.

He had learned a long time ago that there was no reason to dream. They never worked out the way you wanted them to.

Of course, as a child, he had dreamed of a family rescuing him from the streets. First, his own parents, whom he couldn't truly remember. Then, some made-up family with a mother, a father, a brother, and a sister. They would see him in the street in his torn, dirty clothing, but somehow, they would see more than just that. They would see who he really was underneath. He held on to that dream for a while, fantasizing to keep his mind off the cold, the hunger, the loneliness. Eventually, reality set in and Han realized that no one was coming to rescue him. He only had himself to rely on.

As he got older, he discovered a new dream: flying. And the best way to get off planet and have the chance to fly was to join the Imperial Navy. Like everything else, that hadn't gone as planned.

"Neither of you think about marriage? A family?" Luke asked sincerely.

Han found himself listening intently to the princess' response.

Leia was pensive for a moment. "There was a time when I assumed that someday I would marry. But it was a distant, irrelevant thought. First and foremost was always the fight against the Empire." She glanced at Han from the corner of her eye. The idea of him getting married was unthinkable and unsettling

Luke looked at Han with expectation.

Han's expression was dubious. "Well, don't look at me. Do I seem like I wanna get tied down?"

His answer didn't surprise Leia one bit. She was pleased yet, at the same time, not.

Luke's interest never wavered. "So, you're just going to run around the galaxy, staying one step ahead of the law forever?"

"Till someone gets the draw on me faster," he insisted.

A chill shuddered through Leia at the thought. She cleared her throat. "He has a point."

Both men looked at her in surprise.

"He does?" Luke asked, tone skeptical.

Leia shrugged. "I accepted the possibility of dying young a long time ago. I might not live to twenty-five. How can I think about the future? I might never make it there."

The atmosphere turned somber as each being sat alone with their thoughts.

Han didn't like to think about Leia dying young. Her spirit was too alive, too bright. And she deserved to live a long, beautiful life.

She sighed deeply. "I just hope that when I go, I take the Empire down with me."

Han watched the steely determination settle in her eyes. He had always thought that the princess would easily toss her life aside if it meant defeating the Empire. He could see in her eyes that he had been right.

It was time to dispel the sudden melancholy. He gave one clap of his hands to break the spell. "Okay, Loofnuts, what're we doing here? Let's make things a little more upbeat! 'Scuse me, Sweetheart."

Leia scooted over and allowed Han to climb out. He left the lounge.

Luke and Leia looked at each other, bewildered.

With a quick stride, he returned to the lounge with a bag in hand. He returned to sit beside Leia, who slid closer to Luke.

"Do I even want to know what's in that bag?" She aimed one eyebrow his way.

"I think you do." Han was smiling, a genuine smile. He reached into the bag and handed a small box to Luke.

Luke accepted it with surprised eyes. "What's this?"

"Just a little something," Han replied.

Luke's eyes were still wide as he carefully opened the box. Leia watched, deeply curious. A look of wonder struck him as his hand removed a clear ball.

"Wow," he intoned softly. He held the globe up for them to see.

Leia saw now that inside the globe was a perfect wave from the ocean, frozen in time. Blue and white swirled and curved and it was stunning.

"This is beautiful, Han. I love it!" Luke's eyes shone with the reflection of the encircled scene before him.

Leia glanced at Han's satisfied smile. It warmed her that he was so pleased to make Luke happy with the ideal gift.

"Made me think of our trip to Mon Cal when you first saw the ocean," Han said.

Luke's eyes flitted to Han. "Thank you, Han. It's perfect."

"It's beautiful, Han," Leia added.

"I didn't forget you, Princess," Han said, handing her the bag, smile wider.

Leia was startled but took the bag without thinking. Han had gotten her a present? How unusual. Something inside her melted. "Why, Han," she said in a soft, husky voice. "You must have _really _missed us." With slow hands, she opened the bag, wanting to savor the moment, memorize it and relive it on her worst days.

Han watched, a mixture of anticipation and embarrassment claiming him. Buying the gift for Leia had seemed natural at the time. Now, in the moment, he felt like an obvious fool.

Peering inside the bag, Leia saw a swirl of colorful fabric. Red was the color that drew her eyes first. Carefully, as if it were a delicate object, she fingered the red silkiness before slowly pulling it from the bag. Orange followed the red, then yellow, green, blue, violet, and Leia's mouth fell agape.

"The Six Scarves of Shima," she whispered, eyes wide.

Han was aware of Luke's eyes shifting from Leia to him and back to Leia.

"Where did you find this, Han?" Her hand caressed the shimmer silk scarves that were attached by each end.

Feeling a tiny bit abashed, he squirmed. "Picked it up on Iziz," he replied quietly. "It's not real though," he confided in a quick rush.

She finally looked at him, eyes large and liquid. Their gazes were steady on each other and it was as if their surroundings had faded.

"The guy I bought it from said it was a replica," he explained, unable to break eye contact. "To honor Alderaan."

Luke spoke suddenly, and the moment was gone. "What are they?"

Han leaned back in his seat, a quiet sigh escaping him.

Leia had almost forgotten Luke's presence. She turned her head to the right and acknowledged his question. "The scarves are in each color of the rainbow and each one stands for one of the ancient Goddesses of Alderaan."

Han listened attentively, curious. He didn't know the details. He only knew it was something that had been special on Alderaan.

Before continuing, Leia brushed a light hand over the shimmersilk and examined the intricate pattern of the scarves. She smiled to herself. "Each color stands for a different Goddess and what she represents" She opened the scarf wide and held up a corner of the red. "Red is for passion, which comes from the. Goddess Ardenta." Her hand moved to the next scarf. "Orange is harmony for all beings, from the Goddess Concertsha." She held up each colored scarf in succession. "Yellow is for the sun. The Goddess Solacee gives life through the sun. Green is for nature, from the Goddess Matrika. The Goddess Aquatica nourishes life with water, which is what the blue scarf signifies." A well of sadness filled her suddenly. Home felt near yet so far. "And violet is for love," she said more quietly. From the Goddess Erosha." She leaned back in her seat, feeling suddenly drained.

"Wow," Luke commented simply. Han remained silent, thinking about the violet scarf.

Leia turned to Han, who was watching her closely. "Thank you, Han." It occurred to her that Han must have spent a fortune on the scarves. Shimmersilk did not come cheap. "I love it."

He nodded and looked down at the table while Leia draped the scarves around her in an intricate assemblage. Over her casual white shirt and pants, it looked lovely. _She _looked lovely.

The lounge was now quiet and solemn. Luke strove to buoy the atmosphere." Who knew Han Solo was such a thoughtful gift giver?"

Leia looked up with a small smile then glanced at Han, who remained stoic.

From the corridor, Chewie roared that the food was ready. Luke set his globe aside and they all journeyed silently to the galley.

Chewbacca had laid out the Burra fish along with root vegetables.

"It smells delicious," Leia exclaimed. All of a sudden, she was starving.

The Wookiee handed each of them a plate and they began to pile the food on.

"Hey, Chewie, we were talking about our dreams for the future." Luke said into the silence. "What dreams do you have for the future?"

His furry head cocked to one side as he thought it over. He told them that his only dream was to, "Keep this knuckle head alive." He indicated Han with a sweeping gesture.

Everyone laughed, save for Han who shot his partner a brief look of disdain. He was focused on filling his plate then quickly left the galley.

He still felt conspicuous about the scarves. The purchase had been an instinct, impulsive. Getting a gift for Luke had been an afterthought. He didn't want it to seem as if his thoughts had been singularly focused on the princess. But, when he saw the globe, he knew it was perfect for Luke.

Han sat at the table and began to eat, a perfect distraction. Luke arrived and sat on Han's left, followed by Chewie, who remained standing near the table. Han looked at him strangely.

Leia came last and the Wookiee gestured to the couch, indicating that she should precede him. Han realized what Chewie was doing and was both pleased and annoyed as Leia slid beside him.

"Thank you, Chewie." Her voice was filled with light affection, although she felt a bit of discomfort. She was happy to be sitting next to Han, but was it that obvious? Did Chewie observe her preoccupation with his captain?

_Infatuation?_ That was probably closer to what it was. Leia suppressed a sigh and began eating. After endless ration bars and freeze-dried food, her taste buds exploded into a dance.

"This is delicious, Chewie!" The fish was tender and flaky, the spices perfectly blended.

"So good," Luke agreed, eating with much more gusto than he did in the mess hall.

Chewie barked his appreciation.

Han spoke from beside her, voice particularly loud. "So that's what we gotta do to get you to eat? Have Chewie cook for you?"

Leia knew he was referring to the fact that Leia almost never took time to eat enough. She had lost weight since the Death Star. Most of the time, she had no appetite. She grabbed a ration bar here or there, just enough to sustain her. But she was hyper-focused on work and food was always an afterthought. And if she were being honest with herself, she couldn't deny the impact that Alderaan's destruction had on her: Why did she get to enjoy a meal, have any sort of pleasure or happiness, when so many beings had perished because of her? They would never get to experience joy again. So why should she?

But for tonight, Leia would push that from her mind. Han was here, a rare occasion now, and that was enough to lift her spirits. She would allow herself to enjoy this while it lasted. And his precious, thoughtful gift had brightened the desolation she was normally mired in. She tried not to dwell on what her feelings meant.

Chewie directed a question at Luke.

A grimace twisted Luke's mouth for just a moment and his eyes darkened. "It's not. It's hard to train as a Jedi when you have no master and no guidance."

Chewie asked if he was keeping up with his lightsaber practice.

He perked up slightly. "I practice every day I can. I'm getting really good with the remote."

Han chuckled to himself and Leia glared at him. "What's so funny?"

He looked up from his place. "I was just thinking about our trip to the Death Star." After the words left his mouth, he realized he sounded callous.

"I'm glad it was an amusing experience for you," she said with a chill in her voice.

"You know I don't mean it that way," he replied plaintively.

Her cool gaze rolled over him before she returned to her food.

"Anyway," Han began again. "Luke was practicing with that lightsaber and was doing okay. Then old Kenobi had him put on a helmet with the blast shield down. The remote zapped him right in the ass." He laughed more loudly this time.

Luke appeared chagrined. "It didn't get me in the- Oh, never mind." He shook his head dismissively. "After a minute or so I wasn't getting zapped anymore."

"I'll give you that," Han allowed.

Leia was feeling satiated. She put her fork on her plate and sat back. "I wish there was a solution for you, Luke."

Luke shrugged. "I wish I could find more information about the Jedi."

Leia pursed her lips in sympathy. "From what I've been told, the Emperor seized all of the Jedi texts, records, and files. It's assumed that he destroyed them but no one knows for certain."

Luke sighed and placed his fork on the table. Han took this moment to retrieve four ales from the galley. Chewbacca leaned aside to let Han out. When he returned, he passed the bottles around, receiving a round of 'thank yous.' He squeezed past Chewie to sit next to Leia again.

"…something, somewhere," she was saying.

"I'll probably never find it if there is." Luke yanked the top off his bottle and took one long guzzle.

Bored by the topic of conversation, Han interjected. "It's not like some magic tricks'll help defeat the Empire." He knew how to get a rise out of them, to put an end to the solemnity of the moment.

Leia rounded on him in an instant. "Can you please stop referring to the Force as magic tricks!" Although phrased as a question, it was meant as more of an order.

Han didn't take orders. He shrugged. "I call it as I see it."

"You don't know a th-"

Luke cut her off. "Leia, it's okay. Han's allowed his own opinion."

Irked, Leia turned to him, anger still sparking her eyes. "It's a matter of fact, not opinion."

Luke smiled. "I know that. And you know that. He doesn't have to." His head jerked towards Han.

Han rolled his eyes and took a deep pull from his ale. Chewie hooted softly near his ear, asking why he always had to start trouble. Han ignored him.

"Let's just have a nice night," Luke said benevolently. He perked up suddenly. "Why don't we sleep here tonight?"

Leia tried to let go of the irritation that bubbled inside her. "Why?"

Luke shrugged. "It'll be fun. Like old times." He aimed a look at Han. "Plus, this guy can't leave without saying good bye."

Leia regarded Han impassively and he smiled that crooked grin that even in her angriest moments reminded her of his physical appeal. Her exasperation died down a bit. She hated that he could disarm her so easily!

"All right," she relented, turning back to her drink. She pretended to study the label.

Chewie suddenly interjected with his own belief in the Force. All eyes turned to him.

"Well, of course you do, Chewie." Leia smiled. "You're a very reasonable being."

Han blurted a coughing sputter of laughter then cast each of them an innocent look. Leia was glaring at him but no one else was paying him any mind.

"You're old enough to really remember. You were around a long time before the Empire," Luke commented.

Chewbacca nodded and began a lengthy explanation of his knowledge of the Jedi. When Luke or Leia couldn't understand something, Han translated it into Basic with a flat, disinterested tone. Luke was riveted.

"So, the Clone troopers just turned on the Jedi like that?" Luke snapped his fingers, eyes wide.

"How come you never told me any of this?" Han asked sharply.

Chewie shrugged and told him that he had never asked.

Leia was watching Han and smiled at the look of annoyance he tossed his co-pilot.

"That's when they enslaved the Wookiees," Leia recited quietly.

Chewie nodded solemnly. _The Battle of Kachirho_, he grumbled in his language.

"Battle of what?" Luke asked.

"Kachirho," Han and Leia replied in unison then looked at each other in surprise. Han nodded to her.

They were all silent with their own thoughts for a few moments before Leia spoke again.

"The Clone troopers and the Wookiees were all working against the Separatist Army. From what I've been told, the Jedi and the Clones had been allies. Then, in one singular moment, all across the galaxy, the Clones turned on the Jedi and murdered them." Anger seeped into her voice just thinking about it. "The Jedi were taken completely by surprise, I imagine. Such a betrayal." Her lips pursed together and she shook her head sadly.

Luke looked dumbstruck, eyes huge blue pools, mouth agape.

"At first, citizens assumed the source was mistaken," Leia explained. "But my father knew. He had seen chaos at the Jedi Temple and went there to offer assistance. He saw a Clone trooper murder a young Jedi Padawan."

"What's a Padawan?" Han asked.

Leia turned to him. "A Padawan was a Jedi learner. Training to be a Jedi, basically."

"I'm a Padawan," Luke whispered, mainly to himself.

Leia reached across the table, placed her hand over his and smiled fondly. "Yes, you are," she said just as quietly. They smiled gently at each other, momentarily in their own private world.

Watching them, Han felt a measure of disgust that he refused to acknowledge might be jealousy. It made him want to blurt some snide comment, but he sucked it back behind his teeth, not allowing anyone to see how their closeness bothered him. For a time, he had been sure that Leia and Luke would end up in some sort of romantic scenario, albeit briefly. It had never happened and Han had to admit to himself that he was glad.

Still, they shared a bond that made him feel like an outsider. He watched their hands separate.

Luke's voice remained low but was now devoid of all pleasure. "That must have been when Darth Vader murdered my father." His dull eyes turned to the table.

Leia's heart went out to him. Everyone at that table had experienced extreme loss. She wasn't sure how deep Han's loss cut, but she knew it had.

With a bitter snarl, Chewbacca told them it was also the day he had been forced into slavery by the Empire.

No one seemed to know what to say. Leia saw Han place one hand on the Wookiee's head in a gentle, reassuring pat. It warmed her.

"My father said that soon after, Palpatine declared himself Emperor, for the safety of the galaxy." Her eyes and tone conveyed her disgust. "He claimed the Jedi had attacked him in an effort to overthrow the Republic."

"Not that I'm saying he's not a slimy dictator, but how do you know the Jedi _didn't_ attack him?"

Leia's eyes narrowed to slits. Leave it to Han to be cynical and suspicious. "The Jedi were protectors, negotiators. They weren't cold-blooded murderers," she spat at him. Chewie roared agreement.

Han's hands shot up in defense. "Slow down, Your Worship. I'm not sayin' maybe the guy didn't deserve it. I'm just sayin', that might've happened."

Luke looked startled. "Han, the Jedi were the good guys."

Han glanced around the table. "Things aren't always as black and white as you all think they are." He spun towards Chewie with a pointed finger. "And you know that better than anyone." He returned his attention to the group as a whole. "Before you go bitin' my head off, just think about it. Is anyone ever totally good? Or totally evil? There're plenty of gray areas in between."

Leia thought about his words and fought against her temper. "Is that why you always wear both black and white, Han?" she asked in a softer voice than before, one brow lifted questioningly.

Han blinked, not sure where she was headed. "It's not about me," he said with somewhat less fuel in his engines. He hated when she made him think. "It's not about anyone in particular. It's about everyone." He struggled to find the words to justify his statements. "But, okay, fine. Take me for example. You think I'm a good guy?"

After a moment of thought, Leia answered. "Yes. Yes, I do." Although he often claimed the opposite, Leia knew he was loyal, caring, and overbearingly protective of those that mattered to him. All beautiful qualities in a being. She believed that, at heart, Han was a good man.

He leaned closer to her, eyes hard, voice gruff. "You wouldn't think so if you knew half the things I've done in my life. But you only know what you see. You don't know the rest. And that goes for most. You can see someone as all good or all bad. But that's never the whole story." He heard the misplaced anger in his own voice and realized he was taking the entire conversation too personally. And he didn't even understand why.

Leia and Luke were both looking at him dubiously. Chewie, who knew him better than anyone ever had, remained silent and unaffected.

"Han," Luke said tentatively. "Sometimes good people do bad things. That doesn't make them bad people. There's nothing you could tell me that would change my mind about who you are." He smiled with a slight head shake.

"Really?" Han asked, forcing himself to sound more stoic. He affected his best sabaac face. "What if I told you I've stolen, lied, and even murdered? I've double -crossed and left people for dead. And not in the name of defeating the Empire." He sat back and crossed his arms over his chest.

Something inside of Leia shivered. Here was mercenary-for-hire Han, a Han that hadn't been so brazenly apparent in quite some time. This wasn't the Han that had become like surrogate family to her. This was the Han she met on the Death Star, the one she had at once been drawn to yet also held a certain disdain for. The defensive Han with the impenetrable shields. She thought furiously for a way to gently deactivate them again and turn him back to the Han she knew and cared for.

She placed a light hand on his arm, drawing his attention directly to her. His jaw was set and his eyes were stony. She didn't understand at all where his sudden anger had stemmed from.

She spoke in a quiet, hesitant voice. "I think that…first of all, you can't compare the Emperor to any normal being." She squeezed his arm. "And that Luke is right." She chose her words very carefully. "Sometimes, we're forced to do things that aren't particularly good and that we're not proud of. Whether it's for war or survival, or another reason entirely." His gaze lowered, seemingly to stare at her hand on his arm. Leia pau sed, wishing she understood him better. Wishing he would let her in. "But we know you." She stared at him hard, willing him to look up at her. The others were forgotten and, in the moment, is was just the two of them.

He didn't look up. He could feel the heat of her eyes on him and a part of him wanted to meet her gaze. But a larger part couldn't. He felt like a fool. He knew he had overreacted and he didn't know how to take it back.

Leia continued her monologue, hoping against hope that Han understood her intentions. "And we see the good in you. How much you care, even though you pretend not to." She smiled and, although he wasn't looking at her, she hoped he could hear it in her voice. Impulsively, she thrust aside all restraint and judgement. "We love you no matter what you've done, Han." She held her breath, heart fluttering in fear of his reaction. Had she just admitted to loving Han Solo?

The silence was agony. With his free hand, Han swigged the last of his ale, shook her hand off his arm and made a move to stand. It set Chewie into motion to allow his partner to squeeze past him. Leia watched with baited breath, hoping that Han was simply heading towards the galley in search of another ale. But instead, he was off in the other direction, to his cabin or perhaps the cockpit. And Leia knew instinctively that he wasn't coming back.

Heat flamed up her neck and rose to engulf her. No one said anything for a long time.


	8. Chapter 8: Never, Never Did I Ever

Thank you all for the great reviews and for sticking with this story :) The night is still young...

XXX

Alone in the cockpit, Han had set his empty bottle on the floor beside his seat. He was embarrassed by his reaction to the conversation and, when Leia declared that they loved him no matter what, he hadn't had a clue how to respond. Escape had been his only impulse. Now, he was trapped with his thoughts.

They loved him. He wasn't used to those words. And what did it mean, coming from Leia?

He supposed that if he ever gave it a thought, he knew how Chewie felt. All these years, alone together, so dedicated to Han. But words like that were never spoken between them. And Han had never thought about it before.

Leia was speaking for them as a whole. Did she know Luke's feelings? Had they discussed the topic of their feelings for him? Or did she just know, instinctively, as they often knew each other?

Love. It was a word that had never been a part of his vocabulary. If he had his way, it still wouldn't be. Had anyone ever loved him? The words had been said by women, in a hasty rush of emotions. But, being a cynic, Han never took them seriously. And he had certainly never returned the words. These women hadn't really known him. They had just been infatuated. By his looks, or perhaps his cool, yet dangerous bravado. He didn't know. Nor did he accept it.

Han sighed deeply into the silence. He had wanted a night of camaraderie with the few he called friends. Now, things had gone awry and he would just hole up here until everyone went to sleep.

The small talk was forced, stilted, and everyone's thoughts lingered on Han. Leia was mortified. Had she seriously told Han Solo she loved him? Yes, she had camouflaged it as a collective feeling, but it didn't change the sentiment. And although she was fairly certain that Han had not mistook it for romantic love, or deduced her attraction to him from it, it was still embarrassing beyond belief that she had made such a declaration and his response had been to flee. Her cheeks were still burning.

Luke was telling Chewie about his last mission but Leia tuned them out completely. Luke didn't seem to care. He seemed to be talking simply to fill the silence.

She wished she were alone with Chewie, to pick his brain about his impossible partner. Somehow, she felt embarrassed about it in front of Luke, although she couldn't pinpoint why.

She hated the thought that Han was brooding somewhere. Did he dismiss her words? Did he doubt she meant them? Or would he prefer she _not _mean them? Just when she thought she had figured out this conundrum of a man, he stumped her again.

She sighed to herself. Tonight was supposed to be about togetherness but now Han was separate. _Solo_, she mused bitterly. It wasn't supposed to be this way. She couldn't stand it.

"Someone should go talk to him," she declared, cutting Luke off midsentence.

The others went silent and looked at her. Chewie warbled quietly that it was best to leave Han alone when he was like this.

Leia's lips pressed together. "Maybe that's why he's like this. Because he's been alone." _e HHHHHH_

_He pushes us away like this_, she realized.

Luke gave a heavy sigh. "I'll go talk to him."

"No," Leia said quickly, shaking her head slightly. "It has to be me." She was so tired of getting bogged down in misunderstandings with Han. She stood and Chewie pulled his large body from the couch, allowing her to pass.

With uncharacteristically slow steps, Leia wound her way through the access corridor. She was not accustomed to taking her time these days but she wasn't sure what she was going to say to Han. Normally, she was rushing from one place to another. But the trepidation she felt slowed her down. For a moment, she considered turning back. But, no, she would not be a coward. She had stood up to Darth Vader. Han Solo should not be so daunting.

So, why was she nervous?

At the cockpit door, she hesitated, a flutter of nesting-flies in the pit of her stomach. She still had no idea what she would say behind that door. Taking a deep breath, she hit the panel and the door slid aside.

Han looked up, brow lowered, and the fluttering in her stomach increased to a crescendo. When he turned back to the viewport, Leia forced herself calm, stepped forward, and took the co-pilot's seat.

Han's feet were up on the control panel and he was leaning far back in his captain's chair. There was brief silence and then Leia spoke.

"Lovely view you have there," she said softly, a play on his previous joke.

Han couldn't fathom what she wanted now. "Yep." His eyes remained on the viewport, unseeing.

Leia fingered the worn arm of the chair. "It's too bad you have to leave tomorrow."

"Yep." He paused. "That's the assignment."

She turned her head to look at him. She had always liked his profile. "Well, look at you," she teased gently, a tiny smile curving both sides of her mouth. "Following orders."

His sidelong glance at her lasted a mere second and he didn't reply. He really just wanted to be left alone. He wasn't sure how he was feeling right now and he didn't want to be forced to figure it out.

Han's silence was unnerving. She was going to have to be more direct instead of glossing over things with humor. The thought scared her a bit. There was always the fear that he would take off and they—_she_ —would never see him again. She spun her chair in his direction, aware of her heart thumping wildly.

"Han," she called in a soft yet firm tone. "The things you said you've done-"

"I didn't just _say_ I've done them." His voice was sharp now but he didn't look at her. "I did them."

His abrasiveness threw her off for a moment and she took a slow breath, trying to control her temper. _I came here to make things better_, she reminded herself.

"Okay," she continued slowly. "The things you've done…" she paused, struggling. "I know you don't like to talk about it." She cleared her throat self-consciously. "I know you had a hard time growing up on Corellia."

He shot her a dark look before turning away again. Why was she bringing up his past? It then occurred to him that he had opened that wormhole by bringing up all the bad things he had done. He turned his anger on himself and said nothing aloud.

Leia tried to see the situation from his perspective. Either it was too painful to talk about his past, or he was embarrassed by it. Or both. Telling him they knew who he really was didn't help. Implying that she understood hadn't helped. What would she want to hear if she were him?

She tried to picture Han as a boy, no family, possibly no home, doing what he had to do to survive. Becoming a man, with few options offered to him. Saving a Wookiee from slavery, even though it cost him everything he had dreamed of. Becoming a mercenary, a smuggler, because what else could he do now? Picturing him as a young boy, stranded in circumstances beyond his control, it broke her heart a little. When she really thought about it, it was amazing that he had turned out to have as much honor as he did. And he did have honor, whether he liked to admit it or not.

She started over. "I can't say that I understand what you've been through." She spoke slowly, allowing her thoughts to coalesce. "And you probably don't want to hear this, but I'm going to say it anyway." She contemplated placing her hand on his shoulder then thought better of it. "Not everyone could live through what you have and still come out the other side intact."

His hard expression remained. _You have no idea what I've been through, Princess._ He kept his thoughts to himself.

Her eyes lowered to the deck and she felt suddenly shy. But she had already said too much earlier so how much more damage could she do?

She leaned towards him, voice whispered and rushed. "You're a better man than you think you are, Han." Quickly, before she lost her nerve, Leia kissed his cheek and hurried from the cockpit.

When the door hushed shut behind her, she leaned against the bulkhead of the access corridor and just breathed. She wasn't sure why she was so unnerved, why her heart was pounding and her mouth was dry.

XXX

Something burned deep in Han's chest, a feeling he had never experienced before. He didn't like it. It felt vulnerable and weak, two things he detested feeling.

_You're a better man than you think you are, Han._

He kept hearing her voice, feeling her lips brush his cheek. He both loved and hated her words.

He hadn't admitted it, not even to himself. He fought so hard against it, pushed his mercenary reputation in opposition to it.

Princess Leia Organa made him want to be a better man.

But, at the same time, he didn't want her to know it. He had grown soft in the few years, softer than he had been since he was a young child, when he learned he had few choices in life if he wanted to survive.

Now that he realized this sudden truth, he didn't know what to do about it. He wished he could forget it. It made him want to rev up the Falcon and leave the Rebellion behind.

But then he thought about Leia and, dammit all, he realized he didn't really want to leave. That thought only led to another, more disturbing realization: his interest in Leia was beyond friendship, beyond plain physical attraction. He couldn't deny it any longer. And _that_ was the biggest reason he wanted to stay. Why he _had _stayed this long.

But what was the point? She was a princess. She was beautiful, graceful, incredibly smart, and witty. And she was quite possibly the strongest being he had ever encountered. Plus, she was brave as hell.

So, why the hell would she be interested in a smuggler? It was a fantasy; one he would have to let go of. Leia could have her pick of men from anyplace in the galaxy. Men who had more to offer her than he ever could, in the best of circumstances. She had grown up in a palace and, although at the moment, Leia was residing with the Alliance, someday she would want more. More than Han could imagine.

So why couldn't he just leave?

He sighed and thought again about the kiss on his cheek. She had said _they_ loved him no matter what. _They_. It included her, but what exactly did that mean to her? She loved him? The way she loved Luke and Chewie?

It should make him feel good. So, why didn't it? Why did it only make him apprehensive and dismal?

Did he want her to love him? It wasn't a concept that came easily to him. He wouldn't even know what to do with it if she loved him in the way that came to mind.

And now what? Nothing, he supposed. He suddenly wanted to be near her again, his anger forgotten, idiocy taking its place. He would be leaving in the morning and had no idea when he might see her again.

Now he just had to figure out how to make a smooth return.

XXX

Feeling a bit dismal, Leia was on her third ale, which was more than she normally drank. But, tonight had gone so terribly wrong. She had had such high hopes, had been so looking forward to it. And yet here they were. And Han was in the cockpit, deep in his own feelings. Feelings she couldn't understand. She wanted to understand. But he would never be forthcoming about anything that mattered.

"I never heard of the Force until Ben," Luke was saying.

Chewbacca grumbled a question.

"Well, yeah, I had heard people say, 'May the Force be with you.' But I never knew what the Force was. I always thought it was like saying, 'May the Gods bless you. Or, "Go with the Gods."

Chewie rumbled understanding.

Leia interjected, if only to keep her mind occupied. "My father always spoke of the Force."

Chewie shared that the Wookiees also spoke of the Force and had great respect for it, and for the Force sensitive.

"No one used that phrase in front of Imperials," Leia recalled. "'May the Force be with you,' was spoken in private, behind closed doors, by those who opposed the Empire."

They were quiet for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts.

"There must be more Force sensitive beings out there somewhere," Luke imagined aloud.

Leia nodded. "I believe there must be. If they're aware of it, they're justified in hiding it."

Chewie agreed with a bark.

Footsteps sounded from the corridor and all eyes turned as Han emerged, a large bottle in one hand and four metal cups in the other. He didn't meet their gazes but came to the table and placed the bottle in the middle. He took a seat next to Chewie as if nothing had happened.

"Time to get this party started," he said, opening the bottle and pouring each of them a generous amount of whiskey.

Leia eyed her cup dubiously. "I'm going to bow out. I'm on my third ale."

He paused, having poured a small amount in her cup, looked up, and their eyes met. His expression was inscrutable but there was a new, heavy thread of emotion flowing between them. His eyes were a dark green.

Han grappled with how to respond. When he was feeling more himself, a retort fell effortlessly from his lips. But Leia had thrown him off his game.

"More for us," he said with a shrug. _Not the greatest comeback of all time. _He moved the bottle to his own cup and filled it to the top.

Luke returned to the conversation and Leia hoped it wouldn't set Han off again.

"I wasn't aware of it at all. But maybe that's because I'd never heard of the Force. Maybe if I had, I would have realized it."

Chewie growled a lengthy question.

"Looking back, yeah. There're things that made no sense at the time. But now I see it must have been the Force."

Leia glanced at Han. He was staring into his drink, expression preoccupied. She wondered what he was thinking about. He rarely looked so pensive. She shifted her attention to Luke. "Like what?"

His gaze turned inward. "Sometimes, I knew when things were going to happen. This feeling would come over me, just a second before something happened. Like a sandstorm. Uncle Owen used to say I had the best hearing he ever knew because I would stop, as if I was listening to something. And I would say, 'Here comes the storm.' But I wasn't hearing it. I was _sensing_ it. I could _feel_ it. But I didn't really know what that meant then." He shrugged. "I couldn't explain it to my uncle. I didn't really understand it myself So, I let him think I just had this amazing hearing." He smiled at the thought.

She pondered Luke's story. "That's very interesting. Surely, there are others like that, that they just don't know what it is they're experiencing."

Han was barely listening. He glanced at Leia and felt something sharp dive-bomb his stomach. Now that he had acknowledged how he felt he found it difficult to ignore.

Chewie began telling a story about a Force-sensitive Wookiee he had known, but Han tuned that out too.

Maybe it was for the best that he was returning to Rattaran in the morning. Maybe it would be best if he left the Alliance altogether. What was the point of staying on?

Leia forced her attention to Chewie, trying to ignore the man sitting next to him. It wasn't easy. She felt oddly unnerved by their earlier encounter and she couldn't quite place why. She had never seen him so…melancholy? He was often irritated, sometimes downright angry. But this was a Han she hadn't seen before and she didn't understand this Han. He was still brooding and she wished he would snap out of it.

When Chewbacca finished his story and Luke was done asking questions, the group grew silent.

"I've been thinkin' about moving on," Han said, breaking the silence with a bang. His eyes were on his fingers holding his glass of whiskey.

Chewie gave a surprised growl, Luke frowned, and Leia's heart sank to her stomach.

"What do you mean?" Luke asked, as if he didn't understand his friend's implication.

Han swallowed a large portion of his drink and replaced the cup on the table. "You know, going back to being a private charter. Leaving the Rebellion." He looked up at Luke.

There was something in Han's eyes that Leia couldn't decipher. Behind the aloof façade he presented the galaxy. It was a tiny twinge that she could barely see. Almost as if he were begging with his eyes for someone to talk him out of it. But she wasn't sure if she was interpreting it correctly. And she knew he would deny it if she asked. She noticed he did not look at her but she watched him closely.

"Besides," he added with a slight shrug. "I gotta pay Jabba back. Sooner might be better than later."

Chewbacca grunted something that Leia didn't understand and her stomach churned. She was feeling too many things at once: sadness, anxiety, resentment…too many to identify in the moment. She did what came naturally with Han; she lashed out at him.

"Private charter? Don't you mean smuggler of illegal goods?" Heat rose to her cheeks.

He looked at her, eyes tight, all pretense of indifference gone. "Yeah, Your Worshipfulness. That's exactly what I mean."

Jaw tense, body stiff, Leia just stared back at him, refusing to be the one to look away first.

Luke cleared his throat, which severed the tension, and Han's gaze fixed on him.

"Han," he began quietly. "Don't take off just yet. You never know when we'll all be assigned together again."

He sneered in return. "Listen, you knew I wasn't stayin' around forever. Me leaving has nothing to do with that. It's just time."

Leia's anger was slowly slipping away as a feeling of grief began to grow in size. She switched tactics. "Han, please don't go."

He turned back to her, brow lifted in surprise, heart soaring and hopeful.

She leaned forward. "The Alliance needs you now more than ever."

His hope plummeted. _The Alliance. To hell with her damned Alliance._ He tried not to show how angry her words made him. His voice still came out caustic. "You know I've never had any kinda loyalty towards your precious Rebellion. For me, it's just a job. That's it. And this job is comin' to an end, Sweetheart."

She steeled herself against his belligerence and could feel her eyes harden.

"Well, I hate to see you go, Han." Luke said in a congenial tone, as if unaware of the hostility. "I hope you'll think it over, change your mind."

Han shrugged. "Can't stick around here forever. Gotta go sometime." He downed the last of his whiskey and poured himself another.

Across the table, Leia eyed the cup in front of her that Han had partially filled. Whiskey now seemed like a good idea. She took the cup, took a bitter sip, and shuddered slightly. No one at the table seemed to notice her sudden change of heart. Everyone was lost in their own private thoughts. Hers were a jumbled disarray. She took another sip of whiskey, uncertain why when it was so unpleasant.

Without a word, Chewbacca stood and lumbered from the hold. He disappeared down a corridor and Leia wondered why he left and if he planned to return.

The idea of spending the night on the Falcon now seemed oppressive. Soon, she would make an excuse and return to her quarters.

The rainbow of colors swirled around her neck caught her eye and her gaze shifted to the scarves. She pursed her lips and her thoughts relented.

Clearly, he wasn't as callous as he pretended. Why did he have to be so contradictory? And frustrating, and difficult, and… why did she have to care so much? Why couldn't she just accept who he wanted her to see him as?

Luke and Han were talking about the base at Rattaran, the last thing she cared to hear about. Her anger was waning and all she could do is hope that Han was bluffing as he had done before. Her hand rose to caress the silkiness of the scarves.

"You think the food here sucks?" Han was saying to Luke. "Come to Rattaran. It's a whole new level of suckiness over there."

"It can't be any worse than what we get here," Luke replied with a smile.

"Trust me." Han gestured towards himself with a thumb. "And then there's Derlin." He rolled his eyes with a surreptitious glance at Leia. It surprised him that she was still there when he had obviously made her angry. At least he knew she didn't want him to leave. But he was sick of hearing that he should stay for the Rebellion. He'd been listening to her sing that song for a year now and hated every word.

"I bet it's no better or worse than this place."

"It's worse," Han insisted.

"Seems to me, all bases are the same. Unless there's an issue of climate. I wouldn't want a base on Tatooine," he said with a slight laugh. "But I'd just as soon be on Ratarran as here."

"All right. Tatooine would be worse. You got me there." He wished both Luke and Leia were transferred there. Or that he could be transferred here.

Leia piped up across from him. "I think you just miss us." Her tone was teasing but when Han looked at her, her eyes were serious.

Luke chuckled from beside her and Leia glanced at him, smiling in return. Now her eyes twinkled with amusement.

Leia realized that Han made no sense at all. He hated the base on Rattaran because he missed them. Yet, this somehow made him talk about leaving. In which case, he might never see them again. She turned back to face him. "Han, it's okay to admit you miss us." She was smiling, cajoling. "We miss you."

Han faltered a moment, feeling awkward in his inability to come up with a response. His lips formed a word several seconds before one actually arrived. "I never denied it," he said smoothly, feeling anything but.

Leia's brow practically rose to her hairline. "Oh, really?" Her expression relaxed again. "You never said it, either." Her chin rose in challenge.

_What the hell is her problem? _What was she up to now, baiting him like this?

"It's okay, Han," Luke soothed. "We know." He glanced meaningfully at Leia, who caught his eye and held it a moment.

She returned her gaze to Han, whose posture betrayed his discomfort. Leia recalled her thoughts of his past, of the little boy he once was, his only concern being survival. It was so hard to keep that in mind when he was being belligerent. She forced herself to think about it now. About a scared, lonely boy named Han.

"Yes, Han," she said placidly. "We know." If only she could always maintain her composure and try to understand him. But he made it so difficult sometimes. She took another sip of her whiskey and noticed she felt as warm as the alcohol the burned a tingling path down her throat, into her chest.

"I thought you were passing on the whiskey." Han chucked his chin towards her cup.

She peered down at it and realized it was empty. Everything felt pleasant and hazy. "I suppose I changed my mind." Holding out the cup, she smiled. "Can I have more please?"

Han grinned in return and took her cup. Leia was highly distracted by his smile and the movements of his hands as he opened the bottle and filled her cup to the top. "Since you asked so nicely." He winked, one side of his mouth still shooting upwards.

The heat that pervaded her increased brightly and she took the cup, looking down at it to distract herself.

"Don't you think that's a lot of whiskey?" Luke asked, eyeing Leia's cup.

Han shrugged. "She doesn't have to finish it," he replied snidely. "Besides, she holds her liquor better'n you, Commander."

"I do, don't I?" Leia sat up straighter, a sense of pride filling her.

Han watched her, affection filling him against his will. He had only seen the princess drunk two times before. She was adorable when she drank too much. And they never fought. _Things're looking up. _The mood was light now, a huge improvement. Han filled his own cup to the top and turned to Luke.

"More for you?" he offered.

Luke looked hesitantly at the bottle then shook his head briskly.

"What's a matter?" Han asked.

Luke flashed a brief, wry smile. "Someone needs to be level-headed."

"For what? We're not going into battle." Han sneered, suppressing a grin.

"Plus, I have an early shift tomorrow."

"Hey!" Han exclaimed with sudden enthusiasm. "Let's play a game."

Leia groaned. "I've had enough sabaac to last several lifetimes."

"No, not a card game. I have something else in mind."

Leia watched the twinkle in his eye and was both intrigued and suspicious. "And what might that be?"

He grabbed the bottle, leaned forward, and filled Luke's cup to the top. From the corner of her eye, she saw Luke gesture with exasperation towards the cup.

"I said no more," he grunted in a slight whine.

Han replaced the bottle on the table. "It's for the game."

Chewie returned with a roared question and they all looked up.

"You're just in time," Han crowed. "We're gonna play never, never."

Chewie gave a short hoot of laughter and declared that this should be interesting. He took a seat next to Han, who grabbed his empty cup and filled it.

"What's never, never?" She could hear the apprehension in her own voice.

"Okay, so here're the rules." He clapped his hands together once, as if anxious to get started. "Whoever goes first makes a statement about something they've never done. If anyone else has done it, they have to take a drink." He eyed Luke. "A sip, if that's what you'd prefer. If you haven't done it, then you don't drink. Then the next person says something they've never done, and so on."

The table was silent for one long moment. Leia considered the game and quickly realized that this could be a great opportunity to find out more about Han. "I'm in," she stated quickly.

"Me too," Luke relented with a resigned sigh.

Chewie grunted satisfaction and Han smiled.

"I'll go first," the latter said. "Never, never did I kiss a man."

His eyes were on her and Leia realized that this might be some sort of trap. But she would not allow him to see her discomfort. Holding his stare, she brought the cup to her mouth and took a tiny sip.

The gleam in his eye seemed very self-satisfied. "Who's the lucky guy?"

Her lips clamped together in defiance. Beside Han, Chewie began to raise his cup and they all looked at him furrowed brows.

Chewie began to chuckle and put his cup back down. Everyone laughed at his joke.

Han's smile was wide. "I was just about to ask if it was a human man you kissed."

He laughed again and Leia realized she really liked the sound of his genuine laugh, without the sarcasm or nasty edge that often accompanied it.

"Who wants to go next?" Han asked.

Chewie growled to volunteer. His eyes slid aside in thought then returned to his friends. He declared that never, never had he flown an X-wing fighter.

Luke sighed and took the tiniest sip of his drink.

"I'll go next," Leia volunteered. She started out mildly. "Never, never did I ever smuggle illegal goods."

"Well that's not true," Han pointed out quickly. Leia's puzzled eyes found him. "What about that blaster shipment we picked up on Corsica? Or the med supplies we swiped on Thyferra?"

She was surprised to realized that he was right. She had been present at both missions and the shipments were stolen, so technically she _had _smuggled illegal goods. "Let me rephrase that," she said carefully. "Never, never did I smuggle spice."

With a glance at Chewbacca, Han took a long drink and the Wookiee followed suit. He turned to Luke. "Your turn, Kid."

Luke was ready. "Never, never did I swim in an ocean." Pleased with his choice, he watched as everyone else drank.

Han looked back to Leia. "Never, never did I sit on a throne."

Now, she realized she was being targeted. Two could play that game. She took a drink and replaced her cup on the table.

"You had a throne?" Luke asked innocently.

"No," Leia replied, still looking at Han. "When I was little, I used to sit on my mother's throne. When I got older, I stopped. Out of respect for her position as queen." The throne, and everything else was now gone. Sadness began to stir inside her and she pushed it firmly away.

Han saw the emotions brewing and watched her recover from them. He decided not to bring up anything else about Alderaan. She managed to torture herself enough about ALderaan. He didn't want to add to her pain.

Chewie barked his next statement: Never, never did he kiss a human on the mouth.

The three humans gave a collective laugh and all took a drink.

"Never, never," Leia began. "Did I ever go to Corellia." She watched as Han and Chewie both drank.

Luke spoke next. "Never, never did I pilot the Millennium Falcon." He watched Han and Chewie down the rest of their drinks then Han filled their cups. "This is pretty easy," Luke added. "I just assume Han and Chewie have done pretty much everything.

This garnered a giggle from Leia. "I would say that's a safe assumption."

Han's responding look was unreadable. He crossed his arms and leaned against the table, staring directly at Leia. "Never, never did I fall in love."

His statement startled her and again she felt as if Han were deliberately trying to get a rise from her. Or perhaps, like her, he was fishing for something. Leia just couldn't figure out why.

Only Chewbacca raised his glass to his mouth, but Han's gaze never wavered from Leia. She noted that he had revealed something telling about himself. Although this new revelation wasn't exactly surprising. She realized Luke was looking from her to Han and back again and felt her cheeks redden.

Chewie dispelled the sudden tension, stating that never, never did he play strip sabaac. He seemed to find this admission hilarious ad began laughing with a loud roar.

Leia glanced at Luke then Han, uncertain as to why this was so amusing. When she caught Han's eye, he shrugged and sipped his whiskey. Leia's brow rose and Han just shrugged with a crooked smile.

The Wookiee wiped away a tear and took a deep breath.

"You're up." Han's chin jutted in Leia's direction.

She thought furiously for a moment, biting her lip.

Han watched her, the gesture inflaming him. _Damn her. _

It came to her in a flash. "Never, never did I know my birth parents." Her voice was quiet, solemn.

Han scowled at her obviousness. Only Chewie drank and the atmosphere grew chilly and silent.

Luke cleared his throat. Han's eyes were on the table, his jaw taut. "Never, never did I enlist in the Imperial Navy." His smile was ironic. "Even though I dreamed of it my whole life."

Han drank without a word, still perseverating on the princess. He replaced his cup on the table, aware that he felt a little fuzzy. He realized it was his turn and decided to up the ante.

"Never, never did I…" He paused and thought better of what he was going to say. He realized it might jeopardize his entire relationship with her Highnessness and changed his mind. "…did I…join the Rebellion."

Now it was Leia's turn to cast a black look in his direction. Han bore the brunt of it without complaint, knowing he could have blown it way worse. He watched her take a surprisingly long sip, as if spurred on by his statement.

It was bound to be a long night.


	9. Chapter 9: See You on the Other Side

Having code issues...third time's the charm? ::fingers crossed::

XXX

Luke had fallen asleep on the table and, refusing to wake him, Chewbacca carried him from the hold to deposit him in the crew quarters.

Han watched their retreat, smiling to himself and wondering if the kid would make his shift in the morning. It wasn't too far off now. He turned to Leia, highly aware that they were alone together.

"Shouldn't you get some sleep, Your Highnessness?"

"Soon," she said, sagging back against the couch. "It's not as if I get a lot of sleep anyway." Who knew when she would see him again? He was leaving in a few hours. "What about you? You're not tired?"

He shrugged. "I'm all right. I can always sleep in hyper." He paused and his eyes showed sudden concern. "You been having nightmares again?"

With a grimace, Leia thought back to the time she had been traveling on the Falcon during night cycle and suffered one of the nightmares that had frequently plagued her. She had been mortified to be woken by Han after he heard her cry out. She _never _wanted to appear weak in front of the cocky captain. In spite of the fact that the nightmare had been the usual, terrifying dream of Tarkin, Vader, and Alderaan, she tried to pretend she was unaffected.

She hadn't fooled him, even though she hid her shaking hands behind her back and tried her best to compose herself. Han had seen right through her.

With dread, Leia had waited for Han to tease her mercilessly. Waited for him to make fun of the now false image of the impervious princess who remained strong in the face of any danger.

Instead, he had been sympathetic, concerned. It was the first time he had shown a softer side of himself and Leia was forced to seriously question her opinion of him. His comfort had greatly tempered her feelings towards him.

She shook her head mildly, avoiding his eyes. "No. I haven't had any nightmares in a while."

"That's good." He watched her carefully.

She met his eyes with a forced smile. "Just not sleeping well. A lot on my mind."

He imagined she did have a lot on her mind. The entire galaxy weighed heavily on her shoulders. "Back to business tomorrow. No more play time."

Leia eyed him speculatively. "_You_ are never all business." He winked and she damned that habit.

"Wouldn't wanna get boring," he drawled.

With a tiny smile, she shook her head. "As Luke said, at least you can't leave in the morning without saying good bye."

A mischievous twinkle lit his eyes. "Or maybe I won't say good bye at all. Maybe I'll lift off while you guys are sleepin' and kidnap you. How's that sound?"

She grinned. "It sounds lovely actually." When Han's smile dropped instantly and he gaped, dumbfounded, Leia backtracked quickly. "I mean, it-it would be lovely to get away for a while." Had she just told him that she would enjoy being kidnapped by him? What was she thinking?

Han forced his expression to normalize. The last thing he had expected from the last princess of Alderaan was for her to say she would like him to kidnap her. If only she meant it.

Leia forced a change of topic. "It's nice to be losing sleep for a reason other than working double shifts."

"I'm glad my company rates over double shifts. I knew I was special."

He was. He would just never know it. "This is definitely more relaxing."

Han liked to see her like this, smiling, loose, and casual. Most of the time her spine was stiff, expression pinched and tense. It was her default setting when working or in the public eye. He most definitely preferred this Princess Leia. Her hard edge was gone, she was softer. Less a soldier and more a woman. And moments like this, in turn, brought out a softness in him.

"Still won't get me reassigned over here, huh?" He had to try.

"Sorry, Flyboy." The mood remained light.

He shrugged. "I gave it a shot."

"You always do."

"Hey, if you don't ask, you might never get what you want." Han doubted she was aware of his teasing double meaning. But she still held a hint of a smile.

"Hmm." There was a glint in her eyes.

"Hmm, what?"

"As a smuggler, I assumed you were more about taking what you want than asking for it."

If Han didn't know better, he would think she was flirting with him. But he knew better. "All depends on what it is. And who I'm asking." He paused, feigning thought. "And how willing they are to give it to me." How long could he keep this up before she caught on?

"I suppose you can't go up to Imperials guarding a weapons cache and ask them to just hand it over."

"Not a good idea, no." He snapped his fingers. "Unless Luke could do Kenobi's trick."

The corners of her eyes crinkled and her head tilted slightly. "What trick?"

"The…Jedi magic trick?" He couldn't quite recall what Luke had called it.

His meaning sparked and she rolled her eyes. "I know what you're talking about. Luke said Obi Wan got them past the stormtroopers on Tatooine by doing that. He called it a Jedi mind trick."

Han nodded. "Trick, con, magic…same thing."

Leia refused to be baited. She returned to the topic of conversation with a slight smile. "That would definitely help us procure supplies."

His grin was conspiratorial. "I'll have to invite Luke on my next uhh…supply procurement." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"I'm not sure Luke knows that trick."

"I'd bet he doesn't." They fell into a comfortable silence. Han decided he preferred the previous playful atmosphere. He leaned one arm on the table and lowered his voice. "What would you do if you woke up in the morning and we were on our way to Rattaran?"

Her brow lifted in surprise then lowered to hooded eyes. "Kill you," she said in a steady tone.

He chuckled heartily. He had expected as much.

"And on that note…" She stood and gathered up as many cups and bottles as she could carry and headed to the galley.

Han took what was left and followed, enjoying the view.

They filled the recycler, turned it on, and faced each other in the low light of the galley. Neither seemed to know what to say and they just smiled at each other.

It had been an enjoyable evening, in spite of the earlier hostility. Leia felt a strong urge to hug him but self-consciousness held her at arms' length.

"See ya in the morning, Sweetheart." Han's voice was a low rumble she could almost feel. He stepped closer. "You know, on the way to Rattaran." His smile grew to a broad grin.

She knew he had to be kidding but she could never be sure with him. She pointed a finger at him. "Han Solo, if we're in flight when I wake up, you're a dead man."

Han held in his laughter and grabbed her finger in one hand, unwittingly pulling her closer to him. He gripped her hand to his chest, still smiling. "Would I do that and risk your wrath?"

Suddenly, unexpectedly close, Leia gazed up at him as everything around them seemed to slow down. Han's eyes seemed brighter than usual, flecks of gold standing out against green. It struck her harder than usual that he was a _very_ handsome man. Her breath caught and panic rose in her throat. She averted her eyes and began to disengage from his touch.

The warmth between them chilled considerably and Han let go of her hand, feeling like an oafish lunkhead.

"Good night," she muttered, barely audible. She rushed from the galley without looking back.

Han remained in place, one hand on the counter, eyes on the deck below his feet. With a sigh of disappointment, he turned and dragged himself to his cabin.

XXX

"Shit, shit!"

Foggy and perplexed, Leia squinted her eyes open and found Luke shoving his feet into his boots. He stopped and glanced at her.

"Sorry. I'm late!" He ran a hand through his hair and bolted from the room.

Leia wondered what time it was. In spite of the fact that Han had been joking the night before, she noted with satisfaction that the engines of the Millennium Falcon were silent. She lay there several moments longer, trying to extricate her mind from the fuzzy lull of sleep.

She would have liked to remain there, ensconced in the safety of the Falcon. Funny that she thought of Han's ship as 'safe.' She had been aboard her during many unsafe occasions. And it had experienced many malfunctions at the most inconvenient times, which also put them in danger. But there was something comforting about the ship. Something that put Leia at ease when, these days, very little did.

She liked to make fun of her; her shabby appearance, the repairs that were constantly necessary to keep her up and running. It annoyed Han, something she enjoyed doing just as much as he got pleasure out of irritating her. In truth, the Millennium Falcon was the fastest ship in the fleet…this was where Han would adamantly insist that his ship was _not _a part of the Rebel Fleet. And Leia would get angry at him, at his lack of commitment to the Rebellion, his devil-may-care attitude about something that was so much an integral part of her.

Thoughts of Han's aloof position towards the fight against the Empire incited enough dissension to rouse her from her sleepy stupor. She pulled herself from the bunk, feeling rumpled after sleeping in her clothes. After a languid stretch, she pulled on her boots and went in search of Han and Chewie. She expected him to be preparing for departure but finally found him sitting in the galley with two cups of kaffe.

"About time," he bellowed. "Leave it to a woman to keep a man waiting."

Her lips tightened. "What time is it?"

"O-800."

Leia blinked. Luke really was late and so was she. "I'm sorry I've kept you from departure," she said coldly. "I'll be on my way." She began to take a step in the other direction when Han abruptly stood.

"Sit down," he ordered, walking towards her. "I made you some kaffe."

She halted in place and looked at him with mild exasperation. "I can see you're in a hurry-"

"Just drink your kaffe." He grabbed the cup from the counter and thrust it into her hands.

She took it with pursed lips, subdued by the smell wafting from the cup, tantalizing her. Han's kaffe was so much better than what they served on base.

"Figure I'd bless you with one last cup of decent kaffe."

He was smiling now and Leia began to relax a bit. How did he always manage to send her emotions soaring in all directions like a smashball? He was a bit like his ship.

He glanced into the corridor. "Junior slept in. Ran outta here like a mynock outta an exogorth's gullet." He made a quick pivot and sat back down at the counter.

Leia thought about it a moment then decided to sit beside him.

Chewbacca barged into the galley, grumbling about wanting to leave. He saw Leia and his features softened.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting, Chewie. I'm just finishing my kaffe," she told him.

He told her to take her time and drew closer to place one huge hand on top of her head. Leia smiled with affection.

"So that's how it is?" Han commented snidely. "Hurry me along, but for the princess you have all the time in the galaxy?"

Baring his teeth, Chewie told Han that it was _exactly_ like that. He favored Leia with a smile. He then informed him that the princess was much prettier than Han was.

Leia stifled a laugh as she brought the cup to her mouth.

Han couldn't argue with that so he smiled and shook his head.

Chewie stepped close and embraced Leia. She wrapped her arms around his furry body in return.

How had her life become constantly saying good to those who mattered most, not knowing if fate might intervene and cause her to never see them again? She worried about Han and Chewie just about every day during her few quiet moments. And Luke…every time he left on a mission, she knew he might not come back. Leia had experienced so much loss in her twenty-o years of life. She had lost everything. And now she lived in fear of losing what little she had rebuilt.

At times, it was difficult to believe she was only twenty. She felt so much older, decades sometimes. Luke, who was the same age as her, even shared her day of birth, still held the innocence and optimism of youth. She envied that about him, yet at the same time she couldn't imagine it.

The Wookiee turned away and headed down the corridor that led to the cockpit. Leia spun herself curiously back to face Han.

"How old are you?" She had wondered this many times but had avoided asking because she assumed he wouldn't answer. But what did she have to lose at this point?

Han blinked, taken aback. Where had that question come from? "Why do you ask?" he stalled.

Impatience bit at her. Why did he have to be so difficult? It was such a minor detail. "I'm just curious. You know how old Luke and I are."

"Yeah," he drawled, still trying to take the focus off of himself. "You're practically twins." He could see she wasn't going to give up and didn't want to call more attention to the issue. How old had he said he was the last time he needed to give a date? Thirty, he thought he had said. That had been long before he met the princess. What seemed reasonable? If he only knew his actual age this wouldn't be such an ordeal! "Thirty-one," he finally decided on.

Her eyes widened a bit and she sat up straighter on her stool.

"What?" Han asked a bit harshly. "Older than you thought?" He could feel his eyes had shot down below lowered eyebrows.

She regarded him silently for a moment. "No. That's about what I thought."

"Then what's with that look? Like you can't believe it?"

She offered a slight smile. "I was just surprised you answered my question. You so rarely do." The corners of her mouth turned up a bit more.

He could see she was genuinely pleased and it made him feel good against his will. "Does it remind you of what a kid you still are?" he teased.

His mocking question irked Leia but she tried not to show it. "You're just jealous because you're getting old."

He smirked and leaned back casually. "I'm in my prime."

One eyebrow rose questioningly. "Oh, is middle-aged now prime?"

Han wasn't certain if she were kidding or not. "You're just jealous cause you're too young for me."

"Too young?" she echoed in astonishment.

Her mouth flattened to a thin line and Han realized he might have taken his teasing too far. Why were their interactions always so erratic?

"You are the most boorish, arrogant…"

Han watched her sputter, realizing he had genuinely made her angry. "Son-of-a-bitch?" he offered with a rueful smile.

Her mouth closed and she nodded, eyes still dim with anger. "Son of a bitch sounds about right." She took one last sip of kaffe and slid from her stool. She'd had enough of Han Solo for now. "I think it's time for me to go. And you should get back to Rattaran." The nerve of him, implying that she was pining after this older man who couldn't be bothered with such a young girl. Her anger was slowly beginning to dissipate and she began to blame herself for lingering long enough for him to make a mess of things, as he always did. "Good bye, Han." She began to turn away.

"Hey," he called softly, not wanting to end things on such a sour note. He reached out and caught her arm, half expecting her to shake him off. He was surprised when she allowed him to pull her back against him and wrap his arms around her. She remained stiff in his embrace.

Her ire began to melt away; the heat of his body like a warm, summer day on Alderaan. It shouldn't feel so good to be held by him. It shouldn't shatter her defenses so effortlessly.

Han felt her gradually slacken into his embrace and it sent heat through him in a dull throb. Why did she have an increasingly powerful effect on him? Was it the distance while at separate bases? He really needed to pull himself together and stop finding reasons to touch her.

Despite their warring feelings, they remained together far longer than either intended. Finally, Han felt her slowly begin to pull from his arms and he let her go instantly. Without meeting his eyes, Leia's whisper was barely audible.

"Good bye, Han."

He swallowed hard before answering, his own voice coming out lower than expected. "See ya around, Princess."

He watched her go, more emotions than he would acknowledge swirling inside him.


	10. Chapter 10: Just To See You Again

Thank you everyone :) Rough week so I am a day later than planned with this chapter. Hope it was worth the wait!

XXX

"I'm going to Rattaran. I need a pilot."

Luke looked up from his datapad at the sound of Leia's voice. His brow wrinkled. Did she mean she was going to Ratarran to _get _a pilot, as in Han? Or that she needed a pilot to take her to Rattaran, as in Luke? It could have been either. He took in her pinched lips and serious eyes and grappled for a response. He knew very well that, where Han was concerned, Leia's responses could be a bit overreactive.

"Why do you need to go to Rattaran?" he finally settled on.

Her eyes tightened, almost imperceptibly. "_I need a pilot_," she repeated, as if Luke had clearly not been paying attention.

Luke nodded and glanced around the hangar. He was definitely of the opinion that Leia was far more logical and reasonable than most women. In just about every area…except for Han Solo.

"I have to go to Nar Shaddaa. Obviously, Han is the best choice to take me."

Luke nodded again. It was true. If anyone could navigate The Smuggler's Moon, it was Han. "What are you going there for?"

She seemed to relax a bit and stepped closer, lowering her voice. "I'm meeting with a SpecForce operative. I can't get into the details right now. But it should be beneficial."

"How are you getting to Rattaran?"

"I'm taking an A-Wing."

Luke's eyes widened. "Really? You sure you're up to that?"

Her arms crossed over her chest. "And why wouldn't I be?"

He shrugged. "Have you ever flown a fighter? Or even flown alone?"

"I know how to fly," she declared hotly.

"I know." Luke chose his next words carefully. "But wouldn't it be easier for Han to just come here and get you?"

"I don't have the time or patience to wait for him to decide he's ready. If I'm there, I can get him moving."

Luke chuckled. "Yeah, good luck."

Leia smiled and relaxed noticeably. "Well, there's a chance." They shared a laugh.

"When do you leave?"

"Two hours."

Luke couldn't help but worry about Leia flying alone for the first time. In an unfamiliar fighter. "Hey, maybe you could pull some strings and get me a Y-Wing. I can fly you to Rattaran."

"I am perfectly capable of flying myself." Less tense now, she was not as easily offended as before.

He nodded reluctantly. "Okay. Well, be safe. May the Force be with you."

With a gentle smile, she hugged him firmly. "May the Force be with you."

XXX

Han sat back in his portable chair and tipped one foot on the edge of the portable table. He glanced around coolly at the other three rebels seated before him, holding their sabaac cards close to the chest. He surveyed his own cards without enthusiasm and considered bowing out of this hand.

This table was surrounded by four other tables, all filled with gamblers. Han had quite an operation set up beneath the Falcon. It was an enjoyable pastime while forced dirtside.

Chatter persisted in the hangar as men engaged in bluffing, boasting, and arguing. Some smoked legal substances and a few were already drinking at this fairly early hour. From where Han sat, it drowned out the sounds of business as usual in the Rebel hanger, as techs and droids worked on ship repairs. Most of the pilots joined Solo at one point during the day or night. It helped pass the time and chase away the boredom.

At one table, a few men were engaged in chance cubes. Three tables were filled with sabaac players, and at the fifth table, players engaged in hintaro. Han wasn't sure which he enjoyed more, gambling as a pastime or how much it annoyed the commanding officers. He had a good chuckle every time one of command shuffled through the main hangar and glared at him. Their disapproval amused him endlessly.

When Han left on a mission, the table and chairs were folded up and replaced in one of the large storage compartments on either side of the hangar. There seemed to be some unspoken agreement that things did not operate without Han. As soon as he returned, the tables and chairs reappeared. Han never even instructed anyone to retrieve them. They simply appeared, which amused him all the more.

It had started off quite simple. Han and Chewie had procured one extra table and a few chairs, hoping to invite anyone willing to play a few games. A couple of pilots joined in, then a few more. Before Solo knew it, more tables and chairs had been dragged over and the number of players quickly increased. Chewie broke out a few bottles of whiskey and before Han knew it, other rebels were contributing their own bottles. Something new appeared every time a pilot returned from a mission.

Occasionally, one of the players came back with some snacks: adder moss chips, brightgum, and sometimes even cracknut. Chewie even shared his beloved pooka chips.

According to rumor, those on base assumed that Han was making a profit with his little set-up. Truth was, he was merely doing it for fun. He won some credits here and there, but no one was paying him for the right to gamble and he took no stake in the collective winnings.

He contemplated his cards and finally tossed one into the interference field.

"Risky move, Solo," the leader of Gold squadron called.

Han graced him with a lazy grin and said nothing. He was startled by a very familiar, very strong female voice that seemed to reverberate through him, bringing all other noise to a halt.

"Just what is going on here?!"

Reflexively, he sat up in one quick move and turned to see Princess Leia standing before him. She was clad in an orange rebel pilot uniform, a helmet slung under her arm. He was dumbstruck as she stood before him, looking down her nose at him with the most disapproving expression he had ever seen. For a moment, he wondered if perhaps he might be dreaming. This was the last thing he had ever expected.

"What're you doing here?" he asked, flabbergasted. He looked her up and down, thoroughly confused by her presence and especially the flight suit.

Fire spewed from her eyes and she tried to compose herself. "Can I speak to you in private, Captain?"

Han grimaced, aware of just how angry she was. It had been quite some time since he had seen her so livid.

With a sense of dread, he stood and made his way towards the Falcon's ramp, aware of Leia close on his heels. Why did he feel like a child about to be reprimanded by his mother? He never even had a mother. For a split second, he thought about how this looked to his gambling buddies. He decided, with a sigh, that his reputation didn't matter so much.

Once inside the Falcon, he raised the ramp before turning to face her, resigned. No need for an audience while she chewed him out.

Leia glared at him, unable to believe his level of disrespect for the Alliance. "What is wrong with you?" she seethed.

He raised both hands to his sides. "What?" he asked, completely without guile.

"What kind of illegal casino are you running?"

"Aw, c'mon, it's just a little fun." His voice was solicitous, soothing. "And it's hardly a casino. It's just a few tables and some cards."

Her arms crossed in front of her and her eyes grew colder, more venomous. "You're making a profit off the Alliance and taking advantage of our soldiers."

He almost laughed. "I'm not taking advantage of anyone, Your Worship. These guys wanna play. I'm not takin' their money. I just set up some tables. That's it."

Leia's glare was suspicious and stony. Leave it to Han to make a mockery of things. And to find a way to talk himself out of trouble. "No wonder Derlin hates you."

Han rolled his eyes. "Oh please, Princess. Derlin hated me long before this."

"Well, this doesn't help."

"I don't care what that moron thinks." Now he was beginning to get angry.

Leia sighed to the heavens and prayed for the strength to endure this impossible man.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" he asked. "And why're you wearing that?" His chin poked towards her orange suit.

"I flew here."

"You…?" He felt his mouth drop a bit. "You flew here? By yourself?"

Leia couldn't decide if she was flattered or offended by his reaction. She nodded casually.

"In what?" he asked a little too sharply.

"In an A-wing." She decided she was offended.

Han still looked shocked. "What'd you fly yourself all the way here for?"

"To see you."

_That_ had to be a joke. "You flew all by yourself from Wishnu just to see me?" His eyes were wide with disbelief.

"Well," she answered in a casual tone. "Not _just_ to see you."

Han straightened his stance and folded his arms across his chest. Of course, she didn't. "Okay, so what's the story?"

All of a sudden, with her anger forgotten, Leia felt nervous. "I have a proposition for you."

His chin rose. "I'm listening."

Leia hesitated for a beat then plowed forward. "I need a pilot to take me to Nar Shadda."

His brow lowered. "Nar Shada? Why?"

"I have to meet with a contact there."

Han observed the solemnity in Leia's eyes, the severe set of her mouth and knew this was serious business. How did she, of all the possible rebel officers, get assigned to visit Nar Shaddaa? "Nar Shaddaa's no playground, Your Holiness."

A brief flutter of annoyance narrowed her eyes and she forced it aside. "I am aware, Captain."

The formality tightened his jaw. "I suppose you're here cause you need the best."

She sighed aloud. "I'm here because I need someone who can navigate Nar Shaddaa, keep up with the…_shady_ side of the locale. And I need a fast ship."

He crossed his arms, took a step closer, and lowered his face to her. "Why'd you come all the way here? Why not just send a request and have me pick you up on Wishnu?"

She had readied herself for this question. She would never reveal her true motivation. Her gaze was level and unblinking. "This is urgent. I don't have the time or patience to wade through red tape and wait for the request to be processed and then wait for approval. I would like to leave for Nar Shaddaa tonight."

Their gazes remained steadfast on each other for a long, drawn out moment. Han didn't understand this. It was unlike Leia to breach Alliance protocol and do things behind the backs of High Command. Yet, it seemed like that was exactly what she was doing.

"Fine," he finally relented. "We'll leave at 0700."

A smile gentled her hard expression. "Thank you."

Han nodded, fairly certain he didn't like this situation. He grunted acknowledgement and turned away, intent on readying the Falcon for flight. He would have to get Chewie on the comm and inform him of this sudden turn of events.

"And shut down that little casino of yours!" she called after him.

_The hell I will!_

XXX

Upon first viewing Nar Shaddaa from the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon, Leia decided that it was a lot like Coruscant. An ecumenopolis, all one could see of the planet upon approach from subspace were an abundance of bright lights. Like Coruscant, it looked beautiful from afar. Once planet side, the massive buildings and technology were overpowering and the total lack of nature was objectionable. Unlike Coruscant, where the top levels were reserved for the most wealthy and privileged, the top levels of Nar Shadda were just as seedy as the lower levels.

Han had docked his ship in the Old Duros Sector and led her through a tunnel to the Corellian Sector. While the obvious impoverishment of the Old Duros Sector had been dismal and appalling, The Corellian Sector was putrid. Everywhere she turned, there were repulsorlift garage scows collecting trash. How did there come to be so much garbage? The air was permeated by the stench.

Walking beside her, Han noticed that Leia was breathing through her mouth. The air was foul, but Han had been here before and knew that soon he would forget all about it.

"You get used to the smell," he told her. He didn't volunteer that he knew it for a fact, considering he had lived here way back when.

She wrinkled her nose. "I doubt that."

Han's eyes grazed her lithe form. She was dressed in a tight-fitting black spacer's bodysuit, hair pulled into a bun and shoved underneath a black cap. She didn't look at all like a princess. But Han couldn't deny that she looked _hot. _She had obviously done her research before picking out that outfit. It hugged her in all the right places and he had to force himself not to become distracted by the sight of her.

"Where's the map?" he asked suddenly.

Leia pulled a small datapad from her hip, hit a button, and handed it to Han.

Han glanced at the address. "I know exactly where this is," he informed her.

"Lead the way, Captain." She gestured him forward.

Why was he still 'Captain?' He handed back the datapad and they continued to the gambling district.

He would never tell Leia, but in truth, Han was uneasy returning to Nar Shaddaa. With that bounty hanging over his head, this was a convenient place for some bounty hunter to track him down and either kill him or take him to Jabba. He wasn't sure what the stipulations of the bounty were. Jabba might want him alive. Or dead. It was anyone's guess and Han didn't care for his odds.

But if anyone out of the entire Alliance could keep the princess safe, it was him. He wasn't about to refuse this trip and take the chance that some ignorant fool would get her killed.

He was thankful for Chewie, who insisted on trailing them from afar. Leia was unaware of the Wookiee, who watched over them like a furry guardian angel. Han did not have to glance backwards to know that his co-pilot had his eyes on their backs.

It was a long walk to their destination, Flying Fortunata. The casino had two levels. One for those who had large sums of credits with which to gamble, and one for patrons who played for much lower stakes.

"When were you here last?" Leia asked.

Han shrugged. "Long time ago."

"Interesting," she replied. "I would have thought that smuggling would bring you to the Smuggler's Moon all the time."

He glanced aside at her and realized he had misunderstood the question. "Well, last time I was on Nar Shaddaa was maybe two years ago. But the Corellian Sector, that's been a real long time."

Leia was pleased he was answering her questions so easily. He was so hard to predict. "But you love gambling so much," she teased.

His eyes found her again and he saw a slight smile curl her lips. "I'd rather a casual game than in a casino."

"Why?"

Han surveyed their surroundings with a sweep of his eyes but saw no immediate threats. "The house always cheats."

Leia could feel her brow raise in surprise. "Really? How do you know?"

"Everyone knows."

It was interesting how different their base knowledge was. He knew so many things she was unaware of, and vice versa. "No one cheats at your 'casino?'"

"It's not a casino," he groused, eyes making another sweep around them.

"How come you never had a setup like that before?"

Without a word, Han stopped short, pivoted to stand directly in front of her. And placed his hands on her shoulders.

Leia was taken aback by the sudden move and halted, digging her heels into the ground. She gazed up at him, suddenly nervous about his intentions. Her stomach dipped slightly. "What are you doing?"

Ignoring her question, he pretended to share a moment with the princess. Han furtively skimmed the area behind her and on each side.

She realized he was casing their surroundings, checking for threats, and felt suddenly silly for her impulsive assumption. It hit her suddenly that she wasn't sure how she would respond if Han were to kiss her. She couldn't possibly allow it. Yet, could she make herself stop him?

His eyes finally lowered to hers. "Just checking things out." He wondered briefly what she expected him to be doing. Giving her shoulders a reassuring squeeze, he turned back and they resumed their journey.

Why did his brief press of her shoulders feel so good? Her cheeks flamed as they continued forward. Leia was thankful for the low light.

Yet another garbage scow zipped nearby. It stopped and a small, slanted platform extended from the front, close to the ground. It scooted beneath a pile of refuse, raised it up, and the scow swallowed it.

"Can't they come up with a better solution for collecting garbage than this?" Leia asked incredulously. Why didn't they devise a closed collector that hid the stench?

"I don't think anyone really cares. Like I said, you get used to it."

She wasn't getting used to it. She looked around at the large, dilapidated buildings that now popped up around them. "Where are we now?"

"Warehouse District." He turned his head to appraise her. "You okay? We've got a long way to go before the high-rise district."

"I'm fine," she answered, voice filled with indignation. Why wouldn't she be? She could keep up with him anytime.

"Just checkin.'" He scrutinized the area once again and was pleased that there was nothing threatening paying them any attention. A few beings passed by, intent on their own purposes.


	11. Chapter 11: Blood and Bounties

I only just realized there's one chapter left after this. This story went to quickly! Thank you all for coming along for the ride :) I am writing a sequel to this story, but I won't start posting it until it's finished. Hope you like this next part...

XXX

From afar, Chewbacca honed his keen Wookiee senses in on Han and the princess. Sharp, blue eyes watched their every move, simultaneously observing their surroundings. His acute sense of smell tried to block out the fetor of garbage to help sense danger. And his superior hearing waited to pick up any hint of a threat.

With skills far superior to humans and many other species, Chewie was completely unprepared for the sight of Han suddenly jerking back and crumpling to the ground. In the blink of an eye, Leia's inert form was next to Han's.

A deafening, battle-ready roar flew from Chewie's throat and he broke into an instantaneous run, bowcaster leaping to his furry hands.

He didn't make it very far. Several swoops careened from nowhere, blocking his path and raining laser fire at his feet. Chewie managed to narrowly miss being hit and rolled himself behind a pile of crates to his left. From behind the crates, the Wookiee fought down panic and returned fire. He _had _to get to Han and Leia!

He peeked out and simultaneously realized that the crates were too easy a target and that a large airspeeder was lowering to the ground beside Han and Leia's lifeless forms. The swoops were repositioning and Chewie vaulted himself from the crates to bury his body behind a crumbling wall.

He jumped clear just in time as the crates were hit and exploded with a booming blast. It rang in Chewie's ears but he didn't waste a heartbeat of time. He was on his feet, carefully rounding the wall. His heart thundered to his toes as he watched the airspeeder lifting off, followed closely by the swoops. They were no longer concerned with the Wookiee, even as he took chase, his long, limber legs carrying him quickly. But it was not quick enough. The vehicle soared off into the distance and Chewie finally stopped running as it disappeared from his sight.

Dropping to his knees, he wailed a mournful cry of loss and grief.

XXX

She was dreaming…she knew she was dreaming but was unable to rouse herself from the nightmare. Something was digging into her neck…at first, she had thought it was the claw of a vister shrew, but she quickly realized that it was the dream state that was inducing this image. Dim voices peppered the background.

What finally startled Princess Leia Organa awake was a rough, cruel laugh. She lifted her head and felt the pain in her neck sharpen. She forced her heavy eyes open and her vision slowly adjusted to the low light. Her arms were pinned to her sides and something bound her legs to some sort of large object. Looking around, she realized she was in a tiny room with gray, metallic walls. There were two figures standing with their backs to her, oblivious to her scrutiny.

From the back, she could make out that one was a tall, human male wearing a long, olive coat that reached almost to his ankles. His hair was extremely close-cropped.

His companion was shorter, humanoid, with a hairless, bumpy head. He seemed to be wearing some sort of black armor.

They were both peering at something on the floor.

"I'll go contact Jabba and let him know about our find," the human said in a rough, determined tone.

"Very good," said the shorter counterpart. "I'll ready the ship."

The human grunted approval.

"What about the girl?" Bumpy-head asked.

"I don't care. We can leave her for dead."

Bumpy-head made a soft, hooting sound and they began to turn towards her. Without hesitation, Leia dropped her head to hang limply again, renewing the sharp pain in her neck.

Footsteps approached her and she felt rough fingers on her chin, lifting it up. She remained utterly still and slack.

"Kind of a shame," came the human's voice. "Pretty little thing. Wish I had time for a little fun." He cackled shortly, ran a finger across her bottom lip and let go of her chin.

Inside, fury raged through her. She wanted to bite off his finger, spit in his face. But she kept her cool, let things play out, and allowed her chin to again fall to her upper chest.

Both beings turned towards the door to the small room, and Leia remained unmoving.

"I suppose if you like humans," were the last words she heard as the door clamped shut behind them.

Leia's head snapped up instantly and she immediately spotted a figure sprawled on the floor, motionless. In a breath, she realized it was Han and that blood was seeping from a wound somewhere on his body. For a moment, she became dizzy and felt as if she might vomit. She closed her eyes, bit back panic, and took a number of deep, steady breaths.

When she felt fairly normal again, she looked back at Han. Hoping to assess the damage done to him and wake him, she began calling his name, keeping her voice quiet just in case guards were stationed outside the door. Han did not even twitch. Leia trained her eyes on his chest, searching for any hint that he was breathing.

She hadn't realized she was holding her own breath until she finally spotted the slow rise and fall of his chest, and her breath expelled. His breathing was shallow, but thank the Force, he was alive!

Now, how was she going to get them out of there? There was no one to rely on but herself.

It was fortunate that their capturers hadn't realized who she was, or they would be contacting the Empire, as well as the Hutt. They had to be bounty hunters, obviously after Han.

Leia looked at her surroundings, searching for something she could use to remove her restraints. There were some sealed crates, a few metal boxes, and a couple of small tools. Those could come in handy. If only she could break free from these restraints.

She was tied with some type of ropes. She noticed that Han was tied with chains that locked at his wrists. It was clear that Leia was an afterthought, someone they dismissed as a threat. That had been their mistake.

Her eyes were drawn to him again and panic bubbled inside her. She had to concentrate on getting free, otherwise Han was doomed. She couldn't let her worry for him be her downfall.

Refocusing, she tried to recall her military training. With her arms bound to her sides, she had limited range of motion. She tried to wiggle her body in an effort to slide them down her torso. It seemed that if she could just manage to move the ropes a little bit…

It wasn't working. She made no headway in moving her restraint and let loose a frustrated grunt followed by a mild curse. She examined the restraint at her legs. Would she have any more luck with those?

_My boots! _A switch flipped in her mind and she moved one foot as much as she could against the other. After a few slow, deliberate motions, she realized that her left boot was lowering with excruciating slowness.

How much time did she have before they returned? With slow progress, she continued to struggle with the boot. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she managed to use her right foot to shrug off the left boot!

_Thank you, Goddesses of Alderaan!_

She drew her left foot out of the ropes, followed by her right foot. She was halfway there!

Allowing herself a peek at Han, she saw he was still unconscious. Closing her eyes, she forced herself to take a deep breath. She returned her attention to her dilemma.

With her lower body free, Leia realized that she might be able to wriggle her body downwards and out of the rope. She just had to find the right angle. Shifting from side to side, nothing happened for some time. Finally, as she struggled with the rope, it moved upwards the tiniest bit. It was all the leeway she needed. He movements became faster, more insistent, and she felt it start to give.

And then it was happening…her body was sliding down from where she was bound and the ropes glided over her shoulders, past her head.

_Oh, thank the Force!_

Leia could scarcely believe she was free! Now, she just needed to free Han. And somehow get them both out of there before their captors returned.

She slid to Han's side and quickly checked the pulse at his neck. When the slow but steady thrum beat against her fingers, she breathed a shaky sigh of relief. Next, she searched for the source of the pool of blood and found a large, open wound on the side of his head.

_So much blood…_

She gulped back alarm and reminded herself that even minor head wounds bled profusely. With nimble fingers, she unbuttoned her shirt, shrugged it off, and wadded it up in her hands. Now, she wore only a sleeveless undershirt on top. Placing it on Han's head wound, she held it for a good minute, hoping to staunch the flow of blood. It seemed to slow the bleeding down and she returned to their dire situation.

Leia examined the lock on the metal chain that bound him. If she couldn't wake him and get him moving, the heavy chains would only make it harder for her to get him out of there.

"Han!" she called briskly. "Han, wake up! Han, I need to get you out of here!" She slapped lightly at his cheeks but there was no response.

Her eyes returned to the mechanism of the lock. Han had once given her a lesson on how to pick a lock. Forcing her eyes back to the lock, she recalled Han's lesson. What had he said?

_You need something thin and long to fit inside it. _She could hear his words, as if he were speaking in her mind.

Thin and long…? Han had several such tools tucked into his gun belt at all times but those bounty hunters or whatever they were had taken Han's holster, along with his blaster.

Scanning the room again, she recalled the tools she had spied earlier. She spun to retrieve them. Both were the same, some sort of spanner. It wouldn't help her pick the lock or cut the metal, but maybe if she smashed the chain with it, she might be able to slowly weaken it and pry it apart.

She grabbed one and turned back to Han. Pulling part of the chain safely away from his body, she raised the spanner as high as possible, aimed, and slammed it down on part of the chain. It hit with a sharp clang and Leia paused, worried that the noise had alerted someone to her freedom.

When no one came, she was satisfied that she hadn't alerted anyone. She checked the chain bolted to Han. Her efforts appeared to make no difference.

With sound determination, she struck metal against metal again. It left the tiniest of marks on the chain.

This wasn't going to work. It would take hours before she might possibly see the tiniest bit of progress. Standing up, she searched the entire room, desperate for something to give her hope.

Abruptly, she realized it: her hair pins!

They were thin and long and they might just work. Her cap was missing and her bun had fallen on one side, but she yanked a pin from the other side of her head. One huge tendril fell in her eyes and she brushed it aside, trying to recall Han's words.

_Now, most locks have the ridges at the bottom, on the inside._

She could almost hear the deep rumble of his voice, as if he were right there, guiding her.

_But you gotta use some lubrication. If you haven't got anything else, spit into it. _

Dubiously, Leia tried to gather some spit, but her mouth was bone dry.

_You can do this,_ she told herself. But, somehow, it was Han's voice in her head.

Closing her eyes, Leia brought her tongue against her salivary glands and managed to extract some saliva. Bringing it to the forefront of her mouth, she spit directly into the hole of the lock.

She looked at Han again, relieved to see he was still breathing. Then, she closed her eyes, trying to picture his lock-picking tools. One had been bent into a slight loop at the end. Raising the pin to her sightline, she took one side between two fingers and curved the end to resemble what she remembered. Inserting it into the hole, she slid it to the bottom and began to gently turn it.

A quiet, triumphant 'click' sounded. Leia breathed a hearty sigh of relief before tugging at the lock.

It didn't budge, but Leia recalled that there were three steps to this process.

_Take your time,_ the Han in her head advised. _If you rush, you'll only fuck it up._

Had he really phrased it that way? Leia couldn't recall. But she knew she couldn't fuck it up.

Then, Han had used a straight tool. Leia took another pin from her hair and carefully placed in in the locking mechanism.

_This time, you're gonna swipe it from side to side in one motion. Left to right._

Leia performed this maneuver and thought she heard a faint mechanical swish. She sighed, trying to dispel some of the tension that was holding her rigid. What had Han done next?

He had shown her a long tool that was bent in the middle. _And last, you stick this in upside down and push it up. _He had done so and the lock had simply broken open.

Leia held her breath, hoping that she had this right. She bent the hair pin in half, placed it inside the hole, and pushed it up.

There was a loud whir and…nothing.

_Dammit!_ Leia raged inside her head. Just as she released a frustrated breath, the lock popped open.

Tears of relief stung her eyes and she laughed out loud. "Thank you! Thank you, Han, for being with me, even if you don't know you are," she whispered. She pulled the chains apart, unwinding them from his hands and around his feet. She examined his head wound again and was relieved that the bleeding had lessened.

Now, Leia had to get the door open. She stood, went to the door, and hit the panel that indicated 'open.' Of course, it remained bolted shut. She had to figure out how to override the lock. _If only Artoo were here, he could do it in three nanoseconds. _

Hot-wiring the door was another skill Han had once showed her. Now was as good a time as any to practice. She would have to remove the panel cover first. Looking closely, she saw that there was only a small space between the wall and the edge of the cover. Too small to get a grip on with her bare hands.

Turning around, her eyes immediately found the spanners on the floor. The smaller one had a thin, beveled edge on it. She grabbed it and turned to the panel. She shoved the thin end of the spanner under the small space beneath the panel and used her body weight to leverage the panel away from the wall. It seemed to be moving the tiniest bit. Leia wrenched it harder, grunting with the effort.

_Come on, you stupid hunk of metal. Move!_

She let go for a moment and placed her sore fingers in her mouth. Then she wiped her hand off and went back to work, straining to use every bit of her strength.

Pop!

And it was off. Leia smiled through her harsh breath but grew quickly serious. Next was the hard part.

There were four wires inside the panel: red, green, blue, and yellow. Each was attached to a small metal peak of matching color. _Gods, what had Han said?_

_You have to detach the wires from their ports and rewire it. _

He had mentioned some pattern of colors. But what was the pattern? She didn't have all day to play with these wires. The bounty hunters could be back any second.

Had Han said to switch the red and green wires? Or the red and blue wires? She couldn't remember! With a hiss of frustration, she decided to try switching the red and green wires. Her fingers carefully unwound the red wire from its post, forcing herself not to rush and stumble. She saw her hands were shaking and focused harder on the task. Once the green wire was removed, Leia took the red wire and, with painstaking care, wrapped it around the post for the green wire.

Something nagged at her as she worked. This was wrong…it wasn't red and green. She tried to hear Han's voice in her head.

_It's like a rainbow, Princess. Which color is next after red?_

Yellow! Leia recalled in a flash. She thought of the Six Scarves of Shima, silently thanking Han for the clue.

She tried to move quickly, unravelling the red wire from the incorrect post. To avoid any mistakes, Leia reattached the green wire to that post before she took off the yellow wire. Next, she took the red wire between her fingers and wound it around the post for the yellow wire. Taking the yellow wire in her hand, she coiled it around the post from the red wire. Afterwards, she looked at it, satisfied that she had done it right.

Green, then blue, that was the pattern of a rainbow. Yes, she had it right.

Leia repeated the process with the green and blue wires then stood back with a resigned sigh. _This should work. Please let it work._ With one last glance at Han lying in silence, and a flutter of nervousness in the pit of her stomach, she hit the button to open the doors.

Leia sagged with relief when they slid open, almost dizzy with glee. Now, she had to get Han out of here before those men returned. Peeking out of the room, she saw that there was no one outside.

She returned to Han's side, wishing desperately that he was awake. After calling his name several times, she resigned herself to the fact that she was on her own this time. Moving behind him, Leia lifted him by the shoulders and grabbed him beneath his arms. She would have to drag him out. Spinning him in a circle, she realized that his dead weight made the task more difficult than expected. Once she had Han's body facing the door, she pulled him with all her might.

It was grueling and Leia felt a cold sweat break out on her forehead. Pushing the struggle from her mind, she concentrated only on Han's weight as she slowly hauled him towards the door, gritting her teeth with determination. Halfway there, she felt her strength give out and was forced to rest for a moment.

"Oh, Han," she whispered near his ear. "I have to get you to the Falcon." Her throat constricted as his injuries invaded her thoughts. With renewed vigor, she tightened her grip on him and made it through the threshold.

She stopped again, catching her breath.

_Now what?_ she thought, looking around wildly for a plan of escape. Her hope soared when she spotted a hoversled sitting beneath the awning of a small structure.

_Oh, please let it be charged. _With an effort, she pulled herself to standing and ran to the sled. Her arms felt weak.

_Yes! _It was charged! She powered it up and steered it towards Han, glancing around for any glimpse of trouble. So far, so good.

Han was still unconscious. She would have to somehow lift him onto the sled. Heart hammering, she tried to figure out the best way to do this. Watching for the bounty hunters, Leia took Han by the shoulders and propped him up to sit against the side of the sled.

"Let's hope for the best," she told him. "And I'm so sorry about this, Han. It's all my fault." Deliberately banishing those thoughts, Leia climbed onto the sled and leaned down to Han. It was awkward but she managed to grab him beneath his arms again and braced herself to pull as hard as she could. Straining with the effort, she tried to lift him up…his body began to rise…he was too heavy and she slumped forward again, gently replacing him on the ground.

What was she going to do if she couldn't get him on the sled? She started to panic, something Leia Organa almost never did. But this was Han's life at stake…

Gathering her resolve, she leaned over, grabbed him again, and pulled him upwards. With a long, low growl of tenacity, she came to a standstill but did not let go this time. She dug deep down, concentrating on moving Han; she could see it in her mind's eye, his body cresting the corner of the sled…

And suddenly, it was happening! She was hauling him onto the sled, where she collapsed in exhaustion, catching her breath. She had done it! For a long moment, she had thought she was defeated, but she had done it!

Leia stood on weak legs and steered the hoversled in a circle, pressed the lever forward, and they began to journey back the way they had come.

She grinned to herself before realizing that Han still required medical care and that they still needed to make it to the Falcon. Her sense of victory was short-lived.


	12. Chapter 12: Overflow

Thank you to the guest reviewers who altered me to the fact that one of the chapters was somehow eaten/deleted. Here is the missing chapter and I will repost the final chapter.

XXX

Leia was finally able to breathe. With Han in the Falcon's medbay, vitals stable and his wound no longer bleeding, all was well.

Certainly, far from perfect. The mission had been completely unsuccessful and Han was still unconscious, but he was going to be fine. And Leia had beaten the odds.

She removed his oxygen mask, the diagnostic indicating that he was breathing perfectly on his own. Leia had come away completely unscathed, save for the small perforation where a tranquilizing dart had hit her, some sore muscles, and pure exhaustion.

On the hoversled, as she steered them to safety, Leia had begun to tremble uncontrollably, a knot forming in her throat. The fallout of their close call. Once inside the Falcon, with Han on the medbunk and stabilized, she wondered at the extremity of her reaction. There had been many close calls in the past and never had she been shaken so badly.

She watched him for a long time, eyes slowly caressing his features, skimming his closed eyes, strong jaw, tan skin, and full lips. Unobserved, she was able to thoroughly examine every aspect of him. In a burst of insight, she realized what had so badly shaken her.

Although Leia had pulled Han from certain death in the past, never had he been so utterly helpless as this time. It had never been entirely up to her to save him. And for moments during their captivity, she had thought she could not do it, that she wouldn't be able to get them- or rather, _him _-out of danger. She hadn't been the least bit concerned about her own safety. But she had been terrified that Han would be taken to Jabba and killed. And it had shook her to her core.

Tears brimmed her eyes, even now, when she thought of it. She choked them back, unwilling to let herself fall apart.

_What have you done to me, Han Solo? _

She knew she liked him, cared about him, and okay, found him devilishly handsome. But clearly, it was more than that. Based on her reaction today, she wasn't certain what her feelings for him were.

Leaning closer to his face, she could feel the breath exhale from his nose and it felt intimate and sweet.

"Han Solo," she whispered. "I could fall in love with you, if either of us gave it half a chance." The realization was at once disturbing and lovely. A sentiment she would never speak aloud when he was awake. She leaned closer and slowly brushed her lips against his, found them softer and warmer than she would have expected. Something fluttered in her chest and a hot blush bloomed over her body. She shook her head sadly. "But you'd still leave."

Unnerved, Leia Organa retreated and sat in the chair she had pulled into the medbay, alone with her thoughts and feelings. Intermittently, she watched Han sleep and wondered at what would never be.


	13. Chapter 13: Diverted

Thank you to the guest reviewer for alerting me to the fact that the final chapter wasn't here. I had a lot od trouble deleting and adding the missing chapter so it was confusing. Here is the conclusion:

XXX

Han Solo was a belligerent patient. Upon awakening in the medbay of his ship, he first demanded the details of what had happened to him. Once Leia had acquiesced, he tried to get out of the medbunk. They argued, back and forth, while he tried to stand and Leia continued to forcefully push him back down. He was growing furious with her, eyes dark, nostrils flaring, when Chewbacca entered the room and let out a blood curdling roar. Leia almost jumped out of her skin.

Han just glared as his partner berated him in loud growls and barks. He was speaking so fast that all Leia could pick out were the Shyriiwook curse words. With an angry roll of his eyes, Han laid back down on the bunk, arms crossed, jaw taut. Chewie grunted satisfaction and stomped from the medbay.

With a sigh, Leia turned back to the stubborn Corellian. She noticed that his color had paled again and she thought he might actually be pleased to have an excuse to lie back down.

Han took a slow breath, hoping that Leia didn't notice how weak he suddenly felt. Maybe staying in the medbay was a good idea after all. He spared her a quick glance before staring at the ceiling.

"You did good, Princess," he said with quiet approval.

Leia smiled. "Thanks to your lock-picking and hot-wiring lessons."

His mouth skewed upwards on one side. "I didn't even know you were paying attention."

"Neither did I," she said dryly, knowing it was untrue.

He smiled with both sides of his mouth.

"As soon as we touch down on Wishnu, you'll have to report to the medcenter and get checked out," she informed him.

Sharp eyes flew to her. "Not happening, Your Worship."

This was pretty much what she expected. "It's non-negotiable."

"Nothing's non-negotiable."

"Han, you were hit in the head hard enough to knock you unconscious. You need to be looked at by a medical droid or a doctor."

He dug his heels in, voice hardening. "Falcon's medscan says I'm fine. That's good enough for me."

Leia warred with herself over how best to handle Han in this situation. She was so happy he was okay; she didn't want to argue. And often, the more she argued with him, the less likely she was to get the results she wanted. Plus, she didn't have much fight left in her right now. She tried a different approach.

Placing a light hand over his, she spoke in a soft, demure voice. "Han, please. I was really worried about you. Can you just go to the medcenter? For me?" Her eyes pleaded with him.

His hard demeanor dissolved instantly. He pursed his lips together, irritated with himself for weakening in light of her sincere concern. Her hand over his felt too good. "Fine," he grumbled, "I'll go." His gaze dropped away from her.

Leia squeezed his hand then let go. Who knew it could be that easy?

He looked back to her, eyes puzzled. "I've been unconscious before," he stated suddenly.

"Should I be surprised by that?" she replied with light humor.

He almost smiled before his mouth turned downwards again. "It's funny, the other times, I didn't remember anything. I just knocked out then woke up. There was nothing in between. This time…" He paused and his gaze fell to the blanket that just covered his lower legs. "I kinda remember hearing your voice while I was out." He returned to her with an earnest expression.

Leia froze, trying to keep her visage impassive. Had he heard her little confession? Did he remember that she had kissed him directly on the mouth? Dear Gods, she hoped not!

"Were you talkin' to me?" he asked.

"Well, yes. I was worried about you." She breathed for a beat. "Do you remember what I said?"

His eyes drew away and he stared at nothing for a long moment, mouth pulled to one side, brow puckered in thought. Finally, he shrugged and shook his head.

Inside, Leia huffed a huge sigh of relief. "I was just telling you to get better." She forced a playful smile. "And that you were lucky to have me there."

Instead of some wry comment, his eyes were sober. "I was," he replied with uncharacteristic sincerity.

Their eyes held each other a moment longer than necessary. Han broke the stare first, feeling oddly exposed. He had the distinct feeling that something out of the ordinary lie beneath the surface of this exchange. Perhaps it was due to the close call.

"Sorry about the mission." It was rare that he offered an apology. But this time, he knew it was the price on his head that had kept them from the mission objective. And he knew how important that was to the princess.

Leia was surprised by his acknowledgment. Yes, she was disappointed that the mission had been unsuccessful. But in truth, she had been so scared for Han that it overshadowed all else. "It's okay." She felt suddenly transported back to that tiny room, watching helplessly with her heart in her throat, worried that he might end up dead. She swallowed hard. "I'm just glad you're okay."

His gaze flew back to her, brow risen in shock. She wasn't going to berate him about how he had personally jeopardized her mission? He looked over her shoulder, as if there were something of interest, trying to hide his surprise. He knew the mission would have to move forward and he wanted to offer to take her, to try again. But he felt guilty about how this time had gone so horribly wrong. She might not want him to accompany her again.

She cleared her throat, drawing his attention back to her. "I was thinking," she said tentatively. "Next time, you need to wear a disguise. A really good disguise because clearly you are too recognizable."

He couldn't help the small, pleased smile that sprung briefly to his lips. He forced it back immediately and nodded. "Good idea." It would have to be a great disguise. The last thing he wanted was to put Leia in such danger again. For a moment, he thought it might be best to refuse the mission. He shoved the thought aside. No one else in this damned Alliance could handle Nar Shaddaa. And, other than Luke, no one would be so dedicated to Leia's safety. The thought of Luke navigating Nar Shaddaa almost made Han laugh out loud.

Leia noticed the slight smirk. "What's funny?" She couldn't imagine what he might possibly find amusing in this situation.

He sobered in the blink of an eye. "Nothing." Mentally, he rolled his eyes at the thought of reporting to the medbay. But he had already agreed. "We can head back to Nar Shaddaa after my clean bill of health from the med droid."

"Hold on, Hotshot." She placed a hand on his shoulder, lips curved in a small smile. "It's not that easy. My contact only knows I didn't show. It's not so easy to get back in touch with him, set up a new meeting. It might be a little while. You might even be back at Rattaran by the time it's done."

Han's mood soured further at the thought of returning to his assigned base. It surprised him that he had completely forgotten about that dilemma. He was tempted to ask Leia to delay his return but he thought better of it. They had been through this before and it had gotten him nowhere. "So, I guess we're headed to Wishnu right now." He hadn't actually thought about their destination, which surprised him. _Maybe my head's in worse shape than I thought._

"Yes. I want to report to High Command right away"

"What about your A-Wing?"

Her brow puzzled downwards. "It's not my A-Wing. And I'm sure it won't be missed."

He nodded wordlessly.

"You should rest," Leia stated suddenly. "I think I've kept you long enough." With cold efficiency, she grabbed the light blanket at his thighs and drew it up to his chin. Truly, she wanted to stay. But Han looked somewhat pale and a bit confused. He would be better off with some rest.

"I'm fine," he protested. As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt drained. Maybe Leia was right. But he wouldn't let her know it.

Lips twisted in amusement, she looked at him, hands resting on his chest beneath the blanket. "I'm sure you are." It unnerved her how much she enjoyed her hands on him. "Humor me."

He grumbled a complaint under his breath and felt a bit disappointed when her hands left him and she began to turn away. "Hey," he called softly.

She spun back in the doorway.

He hesitated then forced the words out. "Thanks. You know…for saving me."

Her eyes lit up with the beaming smile she favored him with. Still smiling, she disappeared.

Han watched the doorway, as if she might magically appear again. Once again, he found himself highly impressed with the last princess of Alderaan.

XXX

After being forced to remain in the medcenter for observation overnight, Han was thrilled to be free again. Unfortunately, this left him with no reason to stay at the base on Wishnu. He had already received orders from Rattaran to return.

_Maybe I should've let the meddroid keep me a little longer_, he thought crossly.

Striding through the hangar towards his ship, he wasn't in the best of moods. He had briefly seen the princess that morning before his release. He didn't know where she was now and felt awkward seeking her out. But he would have liked to say good bye. And maybe gotten a hug.

It sickened him how much he thought about her, how he yearned for any physical contact. What was wrong with him? No woman had ever had this effect on him before. Their recent circumstances seemed to bring things to a head. It seemed he couldn't entirely deny his interest in her. He wanted to believe it was purely physical but he could no longer delude himself.

The mission to Nar Shaddaa had forced reality to intrude upon the lies he had been trying to tell himself for close to three years now. Had he ever really believed them?

The princess was so different from any woman he had ever known. He never wanted his attraction to her to be beyond physical. There was no point. Yes, she clearly cared about him, might even be attracted to him on a purely physical level. But, more than physical? There was no way. She was a princess, beautiful, smart as a whip, and braver than any woman he had ever met. She could have any man he wanted. What man would turn her down? He would have to be a damned fool.

He pictured it all of a sudden, the princess on the arm of a prince or some other man of high standing. His jaw clenched tightly at the thought and a harsh, bitter anger clawed at him.

Maybe going back to Rattaran was for the best. The thought went against his instincts but the more this attraction grew the harder it would be to be around her. And the harder it would be to leave.

Han hadn't wanted to acknowledge it, but there it was.

One of the pilots from Red Squadron called out to him and Han nodded acknowledgement without breaking his stride.

He didn't want to leave, but the events at Nar Shaddaa hammered it into his head harder than anything else could have: he needed to leave the Rebellion and settle his debt with Jabba, for better or worse.

He had put it off for so long, hiding out with the Rebel Alliance and avoiding reality, that he had managed to delude himself into thinking he had no worries, that he was a free man. But, in actuality, he was a dead man walking. And it was only a matter of time before the laser blast hit the mark.

If ever there was a time Han didn't want to leave it was now. He might be imagining things, but it seemed as if he and Leia were finally growing closer.

But hadn't he already realized that anything beyond friendship with her was an impossible fantasy?

He sighed. Maybe after the mission to Nar Shaddaa he would take off. What did it matter? Stationed at Rattaran, he never saw Leia anyway.

He stopped in his tracks at the sight of Leia pacing back and forth in front of the Falcon's boarding ramp. A small burst of pleasure split his chest in two. He damned his own reaction and rushed a foot forward. As he drew closer, the princess looked up, stopped pacing, and smiled at him.

"Hi," she called.

Han stopped less than a foot away from her. "Hi." There was an awkward pause and neither seemed to know what to say.

"Are you leaving?" Leia finally asked.

"Yeah. Derlin wants me back 'immediately.'" He deepened his voice to mimic the Major's serious tone.

She smiled wryly. "Weren't you going to say good bye?"

A sheepish grimace contorted his lips. "I thought you'd be busy so…" He shrugged.

A slight wrinkle of her brow indicated she was a bit hurt. She nodded. "Well, I wanted to see you off."

He tried to smile. "When Luke gets back tell him I said…" Uncertain of what his message should be, he paused. "Tell him take care," he finished.

"Will do."

Their gazes held, flickered away, returned to each other.

"So, uh…" Why did things feel so clumsy between them? "When you're, uh, ready to go back to Nar Shaddaa, just contact me. I'll come get you and we'll leave from here. You don't hav'ta fly yourself over to Rattaran."

That brought a tiny smile to her lips. "I'll remember that."

"You seen Chewie?"

"He's on board. Prepping for take-off."

Han nodded and ran a hand through his hair. "Well…guess I'll see you around, Sweetheart."

"See you around," she echoed.

They smiled fake smiles and Leia moved forward to embrace him loosely. His arms went her around her and he rubbed her back briefly, wishing for more. When she stepped away, they exchanged smiles again and Leia walked past him. Han refused to turn around. Instead, he started up the ramp with an unsatisfied sigh.

His comm beeped and he stopped walking to unclip it from his belt and check the message. He read through it quickly and his jaw fell open. He read it again to make sure he hadn't misread it. He spun around and found Leia's retreating form.

"Hey! Princess!" he shouted at her back.

She stopped and turned back, a question on her lips.

He gestured for her to come back and quickly sprinted down the ramp. Realizing he appeared too eager, he slowed down once he was at the bottom and strode more casually to meet the princess halfway.

She was smiling when they caught up to each other.

Han held his commlink up. "Did you know about this?"

"About what?" she asked innocently.

She did, didn't she? "I've been transferred." He couldn't help the grin that took over his face. "I'm staying at Wishnu."

Leia's raised brow seemed exaggerated. "Really? That's wonderful."

He looked at the message again, still feeling the need to reassure himself that the orders were real. His eyes returned to Leia's knowing smile.

"You must be happy," Leia said, still smiling. "No more Major Derlin."

He holstered his comm, still watching her. He eyed her suspiciously. "Did you have anything to do with this?"

Her hand flew innocently to her chest and her expression became a study in guilelessness. "Me?" She dropped her hand to her side. "Han, I've told you. I refuse to abuse any power my position allows me."

He nodded, disbelieving. The slight smirk she tried to suppress told him otherwise. "Okay. Well, whoever _is_ responsible, I have to say thanks."

Leia shrugged. "They must need a good pilot here."

"Guess so."

Neither could stop smiling at the other.

"Guess I'll see you around sooner than we thought," Han said jovially.

"Yes. And Luke."

"And Luke."

Eyes alight with pleasure, they just stared at each other for the longest time.

"Well," Leia finally said. "I should get back to work."

"Yeah, and I should go tell the big furball we're staying for good."

"You should." She nodded approval.

"See ya later."

"See you later."

Han watched her turn away, eyes on the floor, grinning. "Thank you," he whispered.

His words just reached her ears and her grin grew wider. "You're welcome," she murmured to herself. She didn't look back but somehow knew that Han was watching. And that he was happy.

end.


End file.
